Monday, July 23, 2012
Okay, so...I made up at least part of that teaser. The bottom-line is, after taking the fourth call from a Penn State alum earlier today, I decided that there was a story here, which had to be told.
I apologize for not taking this opportunity to comment on the new Obama tv spot which launched today, the Syrian Non-Threat to use chemical weapons if either a) Damascus is attacked, or b) donkeys fly...the ongoing euro banking collapse, or any one of the other 79 more appropriate political themes which might have occupied tonight's column.
However...when I took that fourth call earlier today, from the Penn State alum who still to this day believes that "there is no scandal...it's a witch hunt'...it was time to let 'er rip, and call these clowns out, in the same way in which we felt compelled to re-introduce myself to the gun nuts, just yesterday.
As usual, the course of my life has placed me in a position to have met the late Coach Bonjourno on more than one occasion. The very first time I met this legend in his own mind, was while I was still in high school. JokePa was recruiting a guy I played football with...and who happened to be one of the greatest running backs never to make it out of the Jerry Sandusky Memorial Group Shower.
JokePa promised my teammate that he would be the next (fill in the blank, superstar from Penn State). The Joke said he was going to stop recruiting players at that position that year if he got a commitment from my teammate. Joe also told the player not to worry at all about whether the player's family could afford to make the long trip to Unhappy Valley every saturday.
I don't know exactly what else The Joke had to say to my friend. Those things were all that were said in public.
I also don't know exactly what happened once my friend actually got to Penn State. Maybe Jerry Sandusky offered my friend a piece of candy, or a ride in his car...or offered to towel him down after practice?
I do know that on the first day of practice, The Joke told this incredible athlete that he had decided that my friend should be moved to a new position...a position that he had never played before. And, three plays later, with absolutely no instruction at the new position, my friend and former teammate suffered a career ending injury.
This was still at a time when a full scholarship meant that your four year scholarship could be taken away from you the following year, for any reason or no reason...and while my friend was still in the hospital recovering from surgery...the pedophile coddling Joke Paterno, showed up to tell my friend that he would have to pay his own way back to Penn State the next year, BUt...that Joe The Joke hoped that my friend would still come back...and walk-on to football tryouts, because..."You know, I care about you as a person".
About ten years later...when I saw The Joke in New Orleans, while I was on business and he was lounging prior to the Sugar Bowl...I approached him in a small, out of the way restaurant...and asked Paterno if he was aware of the fact that my friend from high school had committed suicide (after a long bout with depression, following his injury). Paterno's one word response told me everything that anyone ever needed to no, about what kind of a man he wasn't.
The last time I met this grand bastian of all things hypocritical...was at a major football banquet. Jerry Sandusky was there, too. And, while I didn't know it then...I know now, that the timing of this event operated as evidence that even after The Joke knew that Jerkin' Jerry was having his way with those who were unable to protect or defend themselves.
And, when MSNBC followed the story of the Colorado Movie Murderer, with the announcement that, "In our OTHER top story of the day...Penn State gets to continue..." to let football and the almighty dollar determine whether or not raping children in university showers is an appropriate matter to bring to the attention of the local police...it became more than apparent that absolutely nothing has, or will ever change.
Yes, the university was fined the equivalent of ONE YEAR'S football revenue.
Yes, the NCAA took away a few scholarships, and restricted the team from competing for championships for a couple of years.
Yes, current players can transfer without waiting to play at another school.
HOWEVER...if University-sponsored and sanctioned child rape is not enough to get a program shut down...what the hell is?
What if Jerry and JokePa dyed their hair orange and shot up a movie theater?
Think even that would have been enough?
At least the Widow JokePa still gets her HALF MILLION DOLLAR A YEAR pension benefit. That's the bad news...
The good news is, she gets to join Mrs. Madoff, the Widow Arafat, and other noteworthy ex-successful ladder-climbing spouses at an afternoon tea, where they all spend time telling each other that the money means absolutely nothing when compared to the fact that all of them...used to be somebody.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
My new Legal Thriller, "Broken Law"...the 1st installment in "The Stephen Westminster Series" featuring the fictional character of the same name...
IS NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM, AND KINDLE'S KDP DIRECT!
AMAZON AND KINDLE HAVE TAKEN A 90 DAY EXCLUSIVE ON THE WORK...WHICH WILL BE AVAILABLE THRU APPLE AND MULTIPLE OTHER DELIVERY PLATFORMS IN NOVEMBER, 2012.
AMAZON PRIME MEMBERS CAN BORROW THE BOOK FROM NOW THRU NOVEMBER AT NO COST.
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The guns didn't kill and injure 82 people. The weapons were legal. The guy was nuts. If guns are illegal only criminals will have guns. This guy was nuts. Blah...blah blah, blah blah.
At what point is someone going to stand up and challenge these gun nuts, stop spouting buzz words and phrases that were learned at the age of 8 when their parents sent them to "Gun Camp"...and stop this senseless killing?
Before I get into the totality of arguments offered by the gun nuts which are unsupportable in their entirety, there are a few facts which should in and of themselves make that effort thoroughly unnecessary.
Every year in the United States...EVERY YEAR...There are more than THREE to FIVE TIMES the number of GUN-RELATED DEATHS in the United States, THAN THE TOTAL NUMBER OF United States Soldiers KILLED IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN.
In the ten years since the start of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, roughly 6600 US Troops have been killed.In the ten years since the start of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, BETWEEN 250,000 and 300,000 FREE AMERICANS have lost their lives in gun-related incidents.
So...How many gun nuts does it take to end YOUR life?
In the Colorado movie theater incident, as in most if not all of the last 30 mass killings in this country, the weapons used were legally acquired and possessed by the murderer. The gun nuts want no new laws rstricting anyone's right to acquire these weapons of mass destruction. Of course not. Gun nuts have rights. Right?
A person with a sinus condition can't purchase three packages of Pseudophed or Mucinex within a 30 day period, and haS to show their government-issued photo ID, give a thumb print, and swear allegiance to Eli Lilly just to get the first two.
A mass murderer in Colorado, or anywhere in the United States can acquire nearly 10,000 rounds of ammunition, semi-automatic weapons, convertible to automatic weapons, tear gas canisters, flash-bang grenades, full body-armour...and, do so without restriction or limitation...and while swearing allegiance to no one.
But...WHAT ABOUT THE 2ND AMENDMENT?Don't we, in this "greatest nation on earth" have, yes...a GOD-GIVEN RIGHT to kill ANYTHING WE WANT TO...even if our bullseye happens to be trained upon someone else's 7 year old 2nd Grade little boy or girl?
Which is of greater importance in the year 2012...
The 2nd Amendment...or a 2nd Grader?
Before you answer, let's examine what the gun nut response has been to every other mass murder committed using the world's most deadly weapon of mass destruction.
After a run of school shootings:
"ARM THE TEACHERS!"
After shootings at colleges and universities:
"ARM THE TEACHERS AND THE STUDENTS!"
After shootings at a Seattle coffee shop:
"ARM THE BARRISTAS!"
After the September 11th attacks:
"ARM THE PILOTS!"
After the shootings of a Congresswoman in Arizona:
"ARM THE CONGRESS!
"What can we expect from the gun nuts after the mass murder in a Colorado movie theater?
"ARM THE GIRLS AT THE CANDY COUNTER!"
In case we haven't figured this out yet...ARMING MORE PEOPLE ONLY GETS MORE PEOPLE DEAD!
But...what about the 2nd Amendment?
Let's talk about the 2nd Amendment for just a moment.
The 2nd Amendment was adopted in the year 1791. In 1791, "arms" which Americans had a right to keep and bear...were forged BY HAND, and took anywhere from 1 to three minutes to fire a SINGLE SHOT.MASS MURDER, in 1791 WAS A PHYSICAL IMPOSSIBILITY, unless a group of 82 people (like in the Colorado movie theater) was set upon BY AN ENTIRE ARMY of murderers...or, unless the 82 people being attacked, WERE ASLEEP.
From 1791 until Antonin "THE ANTI-CHRIST" Scalia vitiated the intent of the Framers of the Constitution in 2008...anyone with 2 live brain cells understood that THE PURPOSE of this "right" to keep and bear arms...was very specific...that being to support a "well-regulated militia" because that was necessary "for the security of a free state".
But...220 years after first adoption, Scalia, a Life Member of the NRA no doubt, decided, in his own infinite lunacy, that what the Framers REALLY meant, was that any American who had FIVE FREAKING DOLLARS to pay for parking at a gun show...and thus avoid a background check, could buy all of the convertible automatic weapons he could fit in his trunk...and then as many Free Americans as he could afford hollow-point bullets.
Of the 36 wealthiest nations on earth, the United States has a gun-related murder rate TWO HUNDRED TIMES HIGHER THAN JAPAN, over thirty times higher than Great Britain, and already shows over three guns in place FOR EVERY CITIZEN OF THIS NATION.
The facts COMPLETELY REFUTE the rhetoric of the gun nuts.
Of the last 30 mass murders in this nation, ONLY TWO of the murderers had ANY prior criminal records of note. The people commiting these heinous crimes are NOT career criminals, nor are they, by and large, documented crazy people. So...enforing existing laws WOULD NOT have prevented their crimes. Likewise, if you took THEIR guns away, the result WOULD NOT BE that "only criminals would have guns".
The truth is, if you took their guns away...hundreds of Free Americans would still be alive, and hundreds more would not have been wounded...and at least one LESS "criminal" would have his own arsenal.
NO ONE would be injured, or have even been denied a "constitutional right" if these murderers had their guns taken away.
And...since we have absolutely NO IDEA who the NEXT gun nut to have a spontaneous breakdown might be, where that will occur, or how many people THAT gun nut will kill...well...the simple solution to this complex problem, is to fix it so that no gun nut has the capability of taking even so much as one Free American life, just because he lost a job, couldn't get a job, had a rough day at the office, his double wide got repossessed, momma ran off with the Maytag Repairman, or his kids got a bad report card.
Gun nuts tend to swear by the slogan, "Kill them all...and let God sort them out".
I think a much more effective life-saving adage is to TAKE ALL OF THE GUNS AWAY...AND GOD WILL HAVE FAR LESS SORTING OUT, TO ATTEND TO".
Without a radical course correction, the killing will continue, and...it will only take ONE gun nut, to make YOU or your entire family...NEXT!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Maybe, he kept his name on SEC documents in order to capitalize on tax loopholes, OR, because he couldn't or wouldn't give up control until his golden parchute had landed, OR, maybe he really didn't continue to run the company regardless of what any SEC documents might have indicated.
And...maybe during some, all, or none of that time, he either did, OR didn't send any jobs to India.And...maybe, President Obama and his advisors did, OR didn't manipulate the logarithim used to calculate the number of Bain jobs which might OR might not have left the country for their own selfish political purposes.
The bottom-line is...none of THAT really matters.
Ya see...in a time when tens, if not hundreds of thousands of American College Students are staying at home and attending junior colleges, while the children of Indian and other foreign parents are finding their way into midwestern 4 year college dorms IN DROVES......it doesn't much matter if Mitt sent ONE job overseas, or ran Bain for even so much as 23 seconds.
George Bush 41 was elected President in the first instance because he followed Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan's seemingly 72 years as President of these great Untied States of 'Merica. Not soon after, and for the first time in the history of the nation during wartime...Bush, Sr. was made a one term President...NOT because we read his lips and remembered his no new taxes pledge. George H.W. Bush was made a one term President because...the more we got to know him, the more we knew he wasn't like us.
He didn't know how grocery store or department store scanners worked, how much a package of underwear cost...or how to pump his own gas.
And...neither does Mitt Romney.It's the reason a certifiable psychopath like Joe Paterno and Jerry Sandusky's good buddy, Rick Santorum was a heartbeat away from the republican nomination for what seemed like the same 72 years that Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan was in office.
It's the reason why high unemployment, high taxes, high foreclosure numbers, higher and higher corporate profits, a still unchecked financial industry, and an entire world economy in danger of yet an even more destructive collapse STILL can't pull The Mighty Mittster even with a President who pissed on his own base, adopted multiple policies (foreign and domestic) which were far right of George DUBYAH Bush, and has spent as much time running for re-election as Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton did in securing their first terms.In 2008, a major issue in the Presidential election was, whether the country was ready for a Black President.
Well...President Obama may not exactly be Black (he's technically Bi-Racial)...but the truth is, we were and are, far more prepared to re-elect a "Black" President, than we are to elect the Bill Gates Edition of the Stay-Puffed Marshmallow Man.
Mitt is whiter than white. And, at a time when census figures show that Whites are no longer a 51% majority race...the fact that he has a Mormon view of minorities (or rather, majorities), wants to build the fence, strap the dog to his car roof, refuse to release his tax returns, has no answer to how many off-shore tax loopholes he's taken advantage of, has never met a pair of polar oppostie positions he wasnt willing to simultaneously support...and, oh by the way...has never bought his own groceries, pumped his own gas, can't tell you the price of anything except his 16 personal residences on four continents...AND...happens to be worth close to half a BILLION dollars, well...I say again...Mitt Romneys problem isnt Bain Capital.
It's Mitt Romney.
Not even a Georgia redneck whose auto plant is closed, whose pension is gone, who can't send their child to a four year college, can't find a job himself, and believe me...pumps his own gas when he can afford it...AND, knows the price of used underwear from the Goodwill Store...is ig-nint enough to think that even though White, Mitt Romney either has the same core values and ideological principles, OR...is any more "like him" than is the Sitting President.
And, God Bless us one and all...if he IS (that ig-nint, I mean).
Barack Obama may not be every, or even any Progressive American's dream of either the perfect President...or even the bill of goods he was sold to ME as when I voted for him. However, if I found myself on the wrong end of a game of three card monty, whether the crooks were New York City Street Hustlers...or the other leaders of the not necessarily free world...I would want a Chicago Politician telling me where the red card was, over a billionaire animal abuser any day of the week.
And, it wouldn't matter if he was CEO of Bain Capital, Ronald Reagan's horse holder, or William F. Buckley.
If Americans are entitled to a jury of our peers when we are on trial for murder...why would we want the Poster Boy for The Aristocracy to make any decision, during any one of those days or decades which we are otherwise fighting for our lives?
It's good to be back...
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Thank you again to all of you who have continued to promote ThoughtsAtThreeAM on Twitter and numerous other sites during my absence. Thank you for all of the incredibly encouraging emails and other communications, as well. Beginning MONDAY, JULY 16, 2012..."Thoughts" will return on a daily basis with the most piercing commentary regarding the upcoming presidential election.
PLUS...on, or before JULY 31, 2012...
"Broken Law," my brand new Legal Thriller will be available EXCLUSIVELY thru Amazon.com's Kindle KDP Select...and then will be available EVERYWHERE eBooks can be acquired, as of NOVEMBER 1, 2012.
Look to this blog, and my synced blog at Goodreads.com for promotional opportunities to acquire "Broken Law" at no cost.
See ya, MONDAY, JULY 16, 2012 and everyday thereafter.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
This is just...one of those times when you really do have to take a few steps back, look at your life as a whole and think..."BOY, am I glad I'm not an almost BILLIONAIRE with a God complex and a presidential fantasy."
In case you haven't noticed...and from this past month's emails...a surprising number of you have...I've gone to great lengths to eliminate "profanity" from this blog. Oh sure, there has been the "occasional" use of the classic "F-apostrophe-d" in moments when referencing something just too outrageous to be appropriately indicated using a more conventional 15th Century vernacular.
However...when you really examine not only a republican PRESIDENTIAL RACE which opened with:
1. The suggestion that SARAH PALIN HAD ANY RIGHT TO EVEN PLACE HER DISGRACED NAME IN NOMINATION,
2. The DECLARATION that Michele Bachmann was the first "frontrunner,"
3. The observation of a morally bankrupt and certified MORON (in 37 States, and by AT LEAST "4 out of 5 Doctors) like Herman Cain...AGAIN, having the testicals to deem himself worthy to occupy the same office which housed Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Roosevelt and only 44 people...EVER,
4. The assembly for discussion on a near-nightly basis...of the largest single collection of pungent, sphincter-esque expulsions, ever assembled in one room, on one stage, IN THE HISTORY OF TIME...cloaked in the guise of presidential debates...WHERE THE ONLY DEBATE WAS, "WHO IS...THE MOST COPIOUS DOUCHE BAG, FROM AMONG THIS GAGGLE OF CERTIFIED MEDICAL DEVICES?"...
4. A guy who was once 3rd in the line of succession to the presidency...AND WHO GOT FIRED IN LIEU OF BEING PROSECUTED... THINKING THAT 330 MILLION AMERICANS HAD A COLLECTIVE BRAIN FART AND FORGOT WHO HE WAS...
5. A defeated and "PSYCHOTIC BY ANY STANDARD" former Senator WHOSE ONLY SIGNIFICANT CLAIM TO FAME IS THAT HE ONCE EQUATED GAY MARRIAGE AS THE NATURAL PRECURSOR TO "MAN ON DOG LOVE"...AND MARRIAGE TO "INANIMATE OBJECTS SUCH AS THE EIFFEL TOWER"...and who should have been HERMETICALLY SEALED IN A HEFTY CINCH SACK before even announcing the results of his most recent psychotic break...
...Is there no one among us, who CAN'T SEE why Mitt had to be licking just a little more than his chops at that first Iowa Debate?
"Heck"...I'm guessing Mitt was printing tickets to the Inaugural Ball even before downing his first ten pounds of fried butter.
He probably had 7 or 8 additional First Ladies-In Waiting all lined up, and was already negotiating to replace the Goldman Sachs portion of the Cabinet...with Ex-Bainers.
HE WAS RUNNING AGAINST SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DOLTS!
THE SITTING PRESIDENT IS IN FIVE WARS, WITH RECORD UNEMPLOYMENT, EVEN THE WHITE HOUSE IN FORECLOSURE...AND GASOLINE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN "THE ESSENCE" OF THE FATTEST OF SEVENTEEN KARDASHIAN SISTERS.
And then...I remembered something.
Something my Grandfather used to say to me as a child.
Something he said to me every time I acted like there was only one possible outcome to a set of circumstances...
...when I simply could NOT BELIEVE that things didn't turn out even BETTER than I had planned, programmed and DECLARED them to be.
And, though my wonderful Grandfather has been gone for more than three decades...TO THIS DAY...when-EVER I find myself confident to the point of nirvana...there it is...
...that unmistakable voice...loud, clear, and as though God and Fred (my Grandfather) were knocking back a cold one and watching over me directly.
My guess is that Fred doesn't really WANT to say it...BUT...God is probably egging him on...
"Do it, Freddie...Say it again. C'mon, My Son...I'll...cure the common cold...Anything you want."
Same story, different cure. Either way, the next thing I know...my best laid plans are following my life into the crapper...and the pseudo-Godlike voice of my Grandfather wants to know...
"FUCKHEAD!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!"
To alllllllllll of you said such nice things about not using a lot of capitals...and not using profanity...all I can say is...
A. THAT'S WHAT HE USED TO SAY...AND HOW HE USED TO DAY IT, and...
B. With everything that has happened in this campaign...there is no more appropriate recipient of that admonishment, ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD...than Willard "I got my Mitt stuck in my zipper" Romney.
Trust me on this, Friends...you honestly don't have to be a visionary to know or see how the world, and this country have changed since 2008.
Sure...it didn't START in 2008. But, it sure as "heck" crystallized. Yes, there has always been some level of polarization, politically, ideologically...and in countless other ways. To suggest otherwise would be to deny the occurrence of the Civil War, the battle of the Sexes, Lite Beer Commercials...and of course Voodoo Economics.
And...I honestly DO understand that the hardest thing to accept about ANY significant change in the way ANYTHING is done...is THE TIMING at which the change is implemented or takes place.
"NEW"...contrary to Madison Avenue hype...is rarely "IMPROVED".
It's just new.
Human beings have a documented "natural aversion to change". We don't like it. We want to do things THE WAY WE HAVE ALWAYS DONE THEM.
In a sense...it's the essence of conservativism.
And, in this instance...we have an absolutely convoluted situation where a misguided attempt to do things...the way they've always been done...had created a serious of scenarios...liked none that any of us had ever seen before...
...at least not in this lifetime.
There have been conflicts. Never has everyone who wanted a job, had one. There was always that one family...or two...that your church gave canned goods to...
People like Barry Goldwater and Michael Dukakis were able to get nominated. And, guys like Bill Clinton and The Shrub even got elected...twice.
But...ANYONE in 2012...who thinks that just because they have the most money, the best teeth, more Armani suits than Georgio, himself...friends who own at least their own planet, if not galaxy...197 IMMEDIATE family members to act as surrogates... No major closet skeletons rattling to get out...other than being a member of an arguable cult...
...well...why WOULD anyone else think they could beat that guy?
He was 2nd last time...AND...THAT'S THE WAY WE ALWAYS DO IT.
Mitt was "ENTITLED" to this nomination. He started working for it from the day he was born the Son of a Governor. And, when he took an ass-kicking from Insane McCain back in '08...Willard did what every republican Also-Ran had done since 1860.
He started icing down the champagne wrapped in a sheet of plastic under a sign that read, "Do NOT open until 2012"...
...to which I can only reply...
"FUCKHEAD!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"
Sure, you are NOT "a Massachussettes Moderate"...At least not by choice.
Yes...you have a...sense of entitlement, no clear position on any issue, you love firing people, your wife can magically drive two cars at once, you own your own plane, you don't really care about the poor, you baptize dead Jews in order to save them...you...drive cross-country with MAN'S BEST FRIEND strapped to the roof of your car, you sent more American Jobs to India and China than the fired and disgraced Carly Fiorina...you don't drink or smoke...excessive skiing and chess are your only vices...you can OWN Pepsi (The Company) but, you can't drink your own product...and, oh yeah...you're a member of a cult whose dogma includes the notion that Satan is the Brother of Jesus Christ...
Then again...you WERE 2nd in the last go-round.
Hmmm...knowing what we know about the emergence of the Tea Party, the fact that Citizen's United DIDN'T ONLY APPLY TO YOU...Christians, DON'T CONSIDER MORMONS...CHRISTIANS, AND...
ALL OF THOSE THINGS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED WHICH YOU DIDN'T SEE AS IMPEDIMENTS TO SUCCESS...but really are...
Please, Willie...and I understand...it wasn't easy bein' Green for Kermit the Frog. It isn't easy having to count all of your money, cars and houses. It isn't easy, what with ALL of those deceased Jews that only you can save. It isn't easy not being able to suck down a COKE ZERO on a summer day. And GOD KNOWS...
...IT AIN'T EASY WATCHING THE TWO-HEADED DEVIL ITSELF take you apart piece...by...piece...when you KNOW, and even God KNOWS...that if ever this world would SELF "F'in" DESTRUCT...
IT WOULD BE THE DAY TRICKY SANITARIUM BECAME THE MOST, POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD.
I mean...YOU have to be about a month and a half away from shooting up a Post Office.
No...wait. I got that wrong. We USED to shoot up Post Offices when we got depressed. We' ve gone on to schools and colleges...and courthouses. And, there aren't 1 or 2 families getting free food from churches...99% of families need free food. Only "Snobs" go to college anymore. Only "Sluts" go to law school". Only Ex-Governors get indicted, get reality television shows...or both...and...
I'm sorry, Mitt...but, even I have to ask...
...with EVERY OTHER ASPECT of life life as we knew it...TOTALLY CHANGED...since as recently as 2008!!!!
...and virtually the ONLY THING you had going for you being that you finished second...in a nominating process that occurred BEFORE THE ACTUAL CHANGE IN THE "NEW & IMPROVED" WAY WE DO THINGS, actually was introduced...
C'mon...say it with Freddie...
"FUCKHEAD!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"
And...to my readers...
Not only did God give me a pass on this Posting, BUT...with any luck...He'll also send a cure for Terminal Santorum.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
The Mighty Mittster done went and got hisseff interdoosed to da bidness end of a bailer.
That would be the very rectangular looking and obviously Mormon gentleman, with the wire wrapped around him...that them two boys is liftin' up into that truck...over yonder.
NOTE TO MITT:
The next time someone opens a question to you, with the words, "You ain't from 'round here now, are ya?
...The proper response on your part is, "Ah...excuse me a moment, will you? I think I hear my hopes and dreams being placed in a shallow grave on the outskirts of town. I'll...be right back."
Then...you run like hell to ANY state where "reasonably proper English" is the first language of the locals...and stop pretending that "grits" are anything other than what made you piss your pants laughing when Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei introduced you to them in a scene from, "My Cousin, Vinny".
Ya know...some of the worst things that can happen in a political campaign, happen one right after the other...when the candidate starts actually believing his own spin. And...when this does begin to happen, the one and only way to deal with it is for YOU, the candidate...to get off by yourself, and start telling yourself the truth.
I like Matt Drudge, as a person...and for a decade, defended him when others questioned his journalistic integrity. I never "blamed" him for Andrew Breitbart...or, as some referred to Andrew..."Frankendrudge". And trust me...it pains me to acknowledge that anything either Newt, or Tricky Ricky would say, might be true. But, Drudge has been nothing less than another arm of the Romney campaign PR Machine, since Day 1.
Even up to literally, 8:01 PM,, when the polls closed in Alabama and Mississippi...Drudge updated to put Romney at 42% in Mississippi...and came as close to projecting Romney a winner, as would have been possible without actually using the word.
The out that Drudge had...at least at that moment anyway, was that Fox, numerous others, and even Politico, had been running articles and stories all day long, which were legitimate setups to Drudge's punchline. Romney had the Governor endorsing him...Oh, wait...Didn't the Governor of South Carolina ALSO slip on a complimentary pair of the Magic Underwear in advance of the ass-kicking that Romney took in THAT state, too?
I think so.
Yeah, yeah, yeah...you can say that the big story was Tricky Ricky pancaking BOTH Romney and The Fat Lizard.
You can say that the big story was exit polls showing SIXTY PERCENT of voters in the two states AGREED that Romney was "Most Electable"...and they STILL fed his ass to...who or whatever it is that eats things left in the forests, swamps and trailer parks which make up the vast majority of them there two states. (So much for math scores, and no child being left behind. It appears that at least a few southern A-dolts might wanna be more concerned about being left behind at this point.)
You could say that the manufactured frontrunner with the printing press and endless supply of black ink and green paper...can't keep calling himself the frontrunner if he keeps cashing a "Show" ticket.
You could even say that the smart thing for both mainstream and downstream media outlets to do would be to stop believing that pimping for Mitt will end the race. Or, better yet...just stop pimping for Romney.
And, you might want to say that Romney should realize that in this day and age...unless the money you are handing out, is AT the polls, TO voters, in the form of small, unmarked, non-sequential bills...the days of buying an election are farther away from the building than Elvis.
In a way, it is unbelievably comforting to see that the uproar over Citizen's United...has turned out to be far less necessary than could earlier have been perceived. I mean, it is completely correct to say that ALL Of Romney's primary wins have been the result of his "indirect" access to working capital. However...the expenditure of those funds, even in states where wins were generated...had at least as much to do with a broad spectrum of other factors which had absolutely nothing to do with funding...as did the funding, itself.
But...having said all of that...no pundit or commentator thus far this evening or morning, has talked about some of the real keys to these two primaries...or how and what they portend to the next few months.
First...In two states where the vote was dominated by white, evangelicals...and even where the majority of THEM felt Romney was most electable...they couldn't bring themselves to pull his cult-like lever. Yes, several cable and internet outlets touched on this...BUT, not from the perspective that it re-establishes the issue of faith as a dominant negative...NOT, as the race moves to Missouri, Maryland and Illinois...but, as the party must legitimately begin to work toward settling on its compromise candidate, when no one shows up at the convention with enough swag to secure a first ballot victory.
Second...It wasn't even finishing third in these states (where he had been projected to WIN BOTH...by the now TOTALLY DISCREDITED "Rasmussen RAG") which should cause the most concern.
What should cause a larger concern for Romney was that he WENT AFTER these two states...especially after Rupert Rasmussen told him he could win...and got told to "talk to the grit"...BY MORE THAN SEVEN OUT OF TEN VOTERS in the combined two states.
Gingrich wants Santorum out so he can go one-on-one with Mitt. Santorum wants Gingrich out so HE can go one-on-one with Mitt.
SHUT UP, GIRLS!
You're the SAME CANDIDATE...with 97.326% of the SAME MESSAGE.
If there were TWELVE OF YOU...you would ALREADY be going one-on-one with Mitt.
The MISTAKE that both Mitt (and the Establishment republicans), as well as the media is making is that in MANY areas of the country which are KEY to a republican victory...the votes for Santorum and Gingrich ARE NOT "Anybody But Romney" votes (as has been written about since this race started.).
THEY ARE the cries of a party that wants to brand itself as just to the "right" of Bashar al-Assad.
Better than 50% of republicans in Alabama and Mississippi primaries indicated in exit polling, that they identified as "Tea Partiers"...and Romney received NEXT TO NONE of those votes.
Still think the "Baggers" are either dead, or a non-factor?
What does it say...when the best educated and most rational of the four republican candidates for president receives FOUR and FIVE PERCENT of the vote in yesterday's primary contests?
What does it say...when THE GUY THE PARTY WANTS...CAN'T GET A THIRD OF THE VOTE...OR EVEN THREE IN TEN?
What does it say...when the combination of a guy THE WORLD KNOWS is batshit crazy...and a guy HIS OWN COLLEAGUES KNOW has brown eyes and bad breath because he IS full of shit...end up with SEVENTY PERCENT SUPPORT?
Catholics fled Santorum in Ohio...because in reality, the Catholic BUSINESS isn't about "faith" nearly as much as it is about BUSINESS...and, because Santorum's view of the spiritual universe is significantly more "Radical Baptist"...than it is Catholic. Most Catholics I've spoken to, some in my own family...think Rick Santorum is "F'd in the head!" On the other hand...committed Evangelicals...WHO THEMSELVES see little difference between Mormons and Catholics...have embraced Santorum, while being unable to cast a vote for someone EVEN THEY DO SEE as "more electable".
I keep saying this...and one day, someone is going to have to acknowledge it.
THERE IS NO REPUBLICAN PARTY!
There is only, "The Three Faces of Abe"...
And, Mitt can spend A TRILLION DOLLARS...but, unless he either hands it out at the polls, or snuffs Newt and puts the balance in the Santorum kids' college fund (which they won't need...because hey...who needs college with a trillion dollars in the bank? What do you think they are...SNOBS?)...Mitt better just hang the shingle back at Bain, and let the dream die a respectable death. (Don't feel TOO bad, Mitt...John McCain couldn't get the nomination this year, either.)
I was the first to write that the NOMINEE is not now in the race. I was the first to suggest that an Open Convention was not just a possibility...but a virtual certainty. And, with Ron Paul dropping faster than Kim Kardashian's "Friday" Panties...and Buddy Roemer gaining traction at AmericansElect.com, watch how soon the Ronulans beat feet to a location where their internet and caucus strategy might still have a chance to keep a mike in front of the Good Doctor for another eight months.
There IS a solution for The Three Faces of Abe.
They actually COULD win in November...or, rather...a reasonable, rational, logical group of individuals even remotely committed to even a FEW of the traditional republican ideological components of any platform put forward by the party since 1856...COULD re-package itself in time to be competitive.
How, you ask?
Sorry...they don't pay me enough to make THAT reveal.
My best advice to Mitt? SPEND THAT TRILLION! The economy could use it.
Best advice to Ron Paul? Don't let Buddy get too far ahead at that other party that already has $30,000,000.00 for you to play with.
Best advice to Santorum and Newtie? Just keep doin' what yer doin'.
Best advice to Barack Obama? Get the "F" out of Afghanistan. Do something to help the MILLIONS of homeowners whose mortgages ARE NOT with Fanniie or Freddie...and TRUST ME...understand this, and understand it WELL!
SIX DOLLAR GAS...WILL BE YOUR UNDOING. (Even in a one-on-one with Tricky Ricky...)
Oh...yeah...I forgot. If Romney finishes third, or even FOURTH in the Missouri Caucuses on Saturday, (even after THE THOROUGHLY DISCREDITED RASMUSSEN RAG POLL predicts another Romney win...) will the Secret Service formally change his Code Name to "Alf Landon"?
Friday, March 9, 2012
I started running this story down late in the day yesterday. And, I have to tell you...when I first heard it, I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it. I refused to believe it.
However...a few hours ago, a very good source...a solid source, within the Romney Campaign...was willing and able to confirm that Bain Capital was within hours, quite literally...of launching a brand new company...and that the new Bain-Backed entity would use The Rush Limbaugh Program and its "E-I-B Network" as the vehicle to introduce the new enterprise to the world.
Now...I have to admit...I still didn't believe it, until I managed to get my hands on an Advance Copy of the actual tape of Rush rehearsing the very first commercial spot for the Bain-Backed Company, and the Actual Copy to be used as part of the corporate kickoff.
So...since you can't actually hear the tape...but you do know "El Rushbo's" rather distinct, if not particularly dulcet tones...and you are likely familiar with his penchant for thoroughly condescending, and equally candy-assed intonations and inflections...I heartily invite and encourage you to enjoy, while being further disgusted (as I was, am, and will yet be) by the lengths to which Mitt Romney and his Wall St. Tycoon buddies...are willing to go to keep "The Majarushie" in the $50 Million Dollar a year lifestyle...to which he has become..."ac-cus-tomed".
Direct from today's Limbaugh Show Producer's Log...
"Rush's Rant, Introducing New Advertiser".
Now Folks...You've heard an awful lot from the drive-by media, and of course the rest of the Hate America Firsters, the Soros-Backed Libs, and even most of the democraps up on the Hill...about how we, here at the E-I-B Network are losing advertisers...we're being bounced off of the air by two-bit, radio stations in East Nowhereville, New England and on a South Pacific Island where nobody actually listens, because as best as anyone can tell...either nobody lives there, or...maybe King Kamehameha had always intended the Atlantis-like location to serve as a prison colony for child molesters...and a place where people like Nancy Pelosi and Dingy Harry might like to "va--ca--sheone"...after the Tea Party, AND WE...teach them the meaning up the word respect again in just a couple of months.
Hell, I don't know...maybe there's even a "vault" located on this previously uncharted island...where the Hawaiian Secretary of State is keeping "the REAL...Barack Obama Birth Certificate" under "lock and key"
You know...the one the has the word..."Kenya"...CROSSED...OUT...at the top...right in the center...The one we'll never see until at least, January of 20---FIFTY-FIVE??? Yeah...that one.
Anyway...Folks...I'm hear to tell ya, once again...that all of these LIES that are being spread by the liberal media, the drive-bys, and of course the Soros-Supported "Oc---cupiers"...who, in reality don't know a THING about what we really do here, or have even so much as a CLUE, about what's happening inside the Hallowed Halls of...the Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies...is complete and utter BULL.
It's crap. It's Bull. It's ridiculous. And, that's all there is to it.
What? Losing advertisers?
Folks, we're not losing advertisers. We're gaining more Patriotic, American Sponsors...DAY---LY! I could stop taking the three calls a day that I do take and flood these waves with enough conservative-generated ad revenue...to...to...to...get Michele Bacmann back in the race...and get her elected!
But that's not why we're here today, Folks.
I'm here today to ask you a very simple question.
Are you important enough...TO YOU...to not only want, but demand...no, REQUIRE that when it's time for someone to buy you a gift...or...when you decide to buy yourself a gift...you accept NOTHING BUT THE...BEST...no matter WHAT mood you happen to be in?
And now...before you answer, let me warn you...If you aren't already screaming "YES, YES, YES" loud enough for Joe Biden to hear you sixteen floors below ground...in his permanent "Un-dis-closed...location"...turn your radio off right now, cancel your subscription to the Limbaugh Letter and cast a vote for Al Franken.
I'm serious....Hell, vote for Frankenberry twice...because Folks...if you don't love yourself enough to proclaim your entitlement to greatness on an all-day...EV-ER-Y day basis...
Frankly...you don't deserve to be here...and the rest of us don't want you around.
You're still here?
Good. I knew you would be.
Now that we completely, and thoroughly understand one another...get out a pad and pen...and write this down.
GONE TODAY------HERE TOMORROW.
No...you heard it right.
What is it, you say?
Well...nothing but the most exciting, most creative, impressive and world-altering example of Yankee ingenuity and entrepreneurial spirit and achievement since, oh, I don't know...FACEBOOK.
Yes, Folks...the good people at GONE TODAY------HERE TOMORROW have taken a concept SO...SIMPLE that I can't believe WE didn't come up with it...and perfected it...for YOUR benefit.
Let's say your looking for a new set of cuff links. An interesting and exotic conversation starter for your personal library, game room, or home...THE-A-TER...or any gift that you or others want you to have in order to tell the so-call "99%"...just how special YOU really ARE...
Oh sure...you could get something that had diamonds, or the latest gadget with a "i" in its name, or even commission a BUST of yourself to adorn every hallway, stairwell and alcove in your very hum-ble abode.
But, why would you? Welfare recipients can do the same thing under Obamacare and the Amnesty Program that'S on the horizon.
Oh yeah...Amnesty's coming, people...and I thInk you know it.
But anyway...When you want to be treated like the person you know you are...one of the few, the proud, the Folks who made this great country all that it was under Ronald Reagan, Ronald Reagan, Ronald Reagan...AND CAN BE ONCE AGAIN...once we elect Mitt Romney...
When you want that gift for you or any of our ONE, PER---CENT PALS...
You've gotta call the SCIEN--TISTS and other brainiacs at GONE TODAY------HERE TOMORROW!
Screw those diamond cuff links. Toss 'em! Try a pair of SNAIL DARTER Cuff Links on for size! Movie posters on your theater room wall?
Hell NO! Clooney is just going to donate more of your hard earned money to feed people in Darfur...and guess what? They're going to just die tomorrow, anyway...
Just like the Snail Dater, the Snow Leopard, the Bug-Eyed Frog, the Achalas 4-Eyed Frog, the African "WILD---ASS"...and even the Bhutan Giant Flying Squirrel!
You know it, I know it, the American People know it...and frankly...there 'isn't a damn thing ANY-ONE can do to turn back the hands of time, or slow the progress of the ultimate dominance of "CIV-il-ized" beings, over 4-Eyed or "BUG-EYED frogs, Flying Squirrels and half-inch fish that serve no damned purpose other than to block construction of Oregonian Damns, and put family farmers out of business, anyway.
SO...and stay with me on this, Folks...
What the good people at GONE TODAY------HERE TOMORROW have done...FOR YOU...is to, for the very FIRST time in history CREATE an ENVIRONMENT...and I have to tell you...it's almost GOD-LIKE, what these people have done...
They've created an environment where you CAN finally HAVE...ONE OF A KIND GIFTS.
EXCLUSIVE items that LITERALLY...YOU CAN'T FIND ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD.
Oh...I know what you're thinking...you're going to show up at an NRA, CPAC, AIPAC or other function with your Bhutan Giant Flying Squirrel Skin Boots or your 4-Eyed Frog lapel pin...and BAM! Across the Room there's Todd Palin with the SAME AC--COO--TRE--MAH?
If you think that my friends, you'd be as wrong as Nancy Pelosi on climate change, Barack Obama on health care, or Tiger Woods on how not to get caught double and triple dipping on an open Ambien prescription.
You SEE...WHAT, THEY DO...at GONE TODAY------HERE TOMORROW is...they've bought 'em up.
ALL of 'em.
Every, Snail Darter, Snow Leopard, Giant Flying Squirrel...and 2,451 other "So---called"...en-dangered species.
Yeah! I'm not kidding ya, Folks. It's true.
And, when you place ANY ORDER from their COMPLETE catalog of Endangered Species...
...the folks at GONE TODAY------HERE TOMORROW...
...They kill off ALL BUT ONE (or the specific number of the species that YOU simply MUST HAVE...)
...so that YOUR boots, gloves, tie pin, exotic dinner delicacy, or even bulletproof encased desk ornament or wall mount WILL BE...
...one of a kind.
And that's not even the fun part!
Not only do they guarantee that there will be no other item like yours ANYWHERE in the world. But...if you call right now to 1-800-HISTORY. That's 1-800-H-I-S-T-O-R-Y...you get free shipping...free updates on additions to the endangered species list...AND...this is the one that got ME hooked...
...Order now, and GONE TODAY---HERE TOMORROW will secretly arrange to have EVERY ONE OF YOUR RADICAL LIBERAL 99% FRIENDS...and numerous members of both GREENPEACE...AND THE WORLD WILDLIFE FEDERATION...
...AT YOUR HOME...WHEN YOUR PACKAGE ARRIVES.
Now...don't call yet, because as always....THERE"S STILL MORE!
You get the LAST of the species, the FREE SHIPPING, FREE UPDATES, PRE-ARRANGED LURING OF LIBERAL WACK JOBS to YOUR HOME..AND...
...the GONE TODAY---HERE TOMORROW "IRON-CLAD GUARANTEE"!
When you open your package...your LIBERAL friends...and the lunatics we've lured to your property, WILL SEIZE AND Ex----PIRE...NOT ONLY BEFORE THEY GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE (which apparently the lawyers tell me IS LEGAL)...BUT..
...WE GUARANTEE...that anybody and everybody you ever wanted to get rid of WILL BE GONE BEFORE THEY CAN GET OUT OF THE ROOM YOU ARE IN!.
How about THAT, Folks"
You get to slip on your Giant Flying Squirrel Boots...AND WATCH LIBERALS AND TREE HUGGERS DIE IN THE PROCESS...
...and it's guaranteed.
Priceless? Well...not exactly...because...since I don't have ANY REAL COMPANIES...:like those pricks at MASTECARD, buying time on the program anymore...I'm not allowed TO SAY "PRICELESS"
OOPS...PRICELESS, PRICELESS, PRICELESS!
Hey, Mr. Priceless...How would YOU like to see MY NEW BOOTS?
But seriously, Folks...These toys are NOT cheap...but...they're for YOU...the ONE PERCENT. They don't have to be.
So...CALL NOW! 1-800-HISTORY. That's 1-800-H-I-S-T-O-R-Y. Order your 1 of a Kind Item, TODAY...and, MOST IMPORTANTLY...
Don't just kill a 4-Eyed Frog...
KILL A ROOMFUL OF LIBERALS!!!
We'll be right back after these 72 unpaid Public Service Announcements.
(Forgets to turn off microphone)
...SLUTS! F'IN SLUTS!!!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Pat Robertson delivers the clearest Message from God, at least in my lifetime...that none of us remains long for this world...and that HE has had all He can stand, and He cant' stands no more.
It's one thing for Fred Phelps to boast that "God Hates Fags," while proclaiming The Phelps Family's status as the single most dysfunctional band of emotional and spiritual child molesters since the Mother Ship dropped off the first wave of Scientologists.
You sort of grow to accept that from Freddie. His only real problem is in just not being able to articulate the position that, at least as far as Phelps understands it..."God Hates EVERYBODY!" Fags, fornicators, soldiers, elected representatives, shoe salesmen in San Francisco, an 11 year old newspaper delivery boy in New Jersey, professional athletes, and even all but one of the Mothers Against Drunk Drivers.
Yup...God Hates EVERYBODY...except of course, the 356 in-bred, toeheads who comprise the entire A to Z "Phelps" Listing in the Topeka, Kansas Phone Directory.
So...if THAT "Man of God" had spiritually circumcised Limbaugh yesterday...that would have been understood for exactly what is was; namely the senile rantings of a disbarred former personal injury lawyer who is near enough to having God personally disembowel his sorry ass, that even members of his own family can't wait for Fred "Who Protesteth WAY Too Much" Phelps, to just get the flock off of His planet.
On the other hand...Phelps has yet to chime in on the Limbaugh Implosion. Those borderline divine rantings you were hearing yesterday from "The Nut Gallery"...were the latest round of linguistic rhodium championed by the inimitable, incredible, and, oh yeah...Batshit Crazy...Reverend, Dr., Messenger for Life...and 12 Time Divinely-Mandated Presidential Candidate...Pat Robertson.
M'kay...I will advance accept the notion that St. Patrick did NOT call for "covert operatives" to infiltrate the EIB Compound in South Florida and execute a Congressionally Authorized Assassination...along the lines suggested by the same spiritual superstar when he proclaimed that even God understood that killing one strong arm dictator was acceptable as a spiritual alternative to footing the bill for a $200 Million Dollar War which was designed to achieve the same purpose.
And...lest we forget...that would, in fact, be the very same Pope Patrick von Robertson, who in recent years personally delivered these additional Messages...direct from God...to you, without even the need to print up new signs for the Phelps Family to load into their 501(c)(3) eligible minivans...or a heaven-sent order to boycott Wahoo's Fish Tacos. According to our Drunken Uncle Pat...
1. For Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a massive stroke because he had engaged in discussions that might have led to PEACE in the region based on the creation of an Independent Palestinian State.
"God considers this land to be His"...and would send the same fate to any other Israeli Prime Minister who moved to divide His Land
2. "The feminist agenda encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbian". Maybe THIS explains Christine O'Donnell? But then...that can't be right either because...Robertson DEFENDED "that Witch".
3. "Maybe we need a very small nuke thrown off on Foggy Bottom (in Washington, DC) to shake things up."
4. Robertson warned the entire City of Orlando, that if Disney World went through with the conduct of a "Gay Day" at the park, that the end result would either be the destruction of Orlando by impending hurricanes, OR serve as a precursor to terrorist bombings, earthquakes tornadoes, and other Hell, Fire and Brimstone events brought to you by He would Was, Is, and Ever Shall Be...for your weeping and wailing pleasure.
To clarify, Pat...that "small nuke" you spoke of in #3, above? Would that make you a terrorist? Or just another Man of the cloth holding a sign that says, "God Hates Fags"?
One last Robertson moment of clarity before completing the point of this Posting.
5. "Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to Evangelical Christians...More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history".
I'm guessing after reviewing exit polling data from the states of Tennessee, Oklahoma and Georgia two days ago...Mitt the Mormon might just wish that Pat was either correct, OR truly prophetic (in the very short term) in his assessment of the impending doom faced by America's Evangelicals. Either way...6 millions Jewish deaths...vs a limitation on publicly funded Nativity Scenes. DAMN THOSE LIBERALS and their eradication of live sheep from the public square at Christmas Time! DAMN YOU!
With that as the background, and serving as a proper introduction of today's featured Rush Detractor...Pat Robertson surprised even Freddie Phelps...and also bought himself a gang-haunting, currently being organized by Oral Roberts and the thankfully mortal Jerry Falwell.
Like Rush...since reporting to the world that Limbaugh's slandering of Sandra Fluke was "...a little over the top"...Robertson has already sought absolution three times. Of course, these multiple mea cuplas directed at Rush after the initial onslaught...came only after Pat threatened himself with cutting out 43 of his daily requests for donations...and Tweeting to Himself, an anonymous demand that he cancel his own 700 Club TV show, and remove it from the schedule of the CBN Network...which, by the way, he owns.
All of a sudden...Statements 1 thru 5, above...are strangely beginning to make sense.
And, while we don't know what will happen today...we do know that the flight of Limbaugh advertisers is up to 43, as radio stations in Massachusetts and Hawaii have pulled the program from their schedules. This, as a "Dead Host Broadcasting" equates the loss of 43 advertisers and two content delivery outlets...to "...a few french fries...that fall out of your bag when you go through the drive-thru".
So very rarely do those who are endowed as Gifted Communicators, truly comprehend the power which is in their words. Words have raised extraordinary children, educated an entire world, started and ended world wars, praised Higher Powers...and also paid the mortgage of more than a few false prophets.
Usually the Gifted Communicator is the first to swallow their foot...and the last to understand how something like that could ever happen.
Not even Limbaugh's harshest critics could ever deny his remarkable ability to arouse, inspire and motivate his sympathizers to action. Had Limbaugh, for even a single moment both realized and accepted the incredible obligation contained in the fine print on the receipt which accompanied his Gift...perhaps he wouldn't be weeks away from a four-alarm realization that life as he had come to know it...is over.
And perhaps he, and we, wouldn't be twenty-eight years into a thirty year plan to polarize a nation so much so that 155 years of resolving ideological differences without donning different color uniforms, pledging allegiance to leaders in Montgomery, Alabama and Washington, DC...and killing your brother or cousin, once again seem as inevitable as Fred Phelps, Pat Robertson and a clearly desperate Rush Limbaugh making even bigger asses out of themselves every time any one of them opens their mouth.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
CNN, who has been selling a Romney "Near-Sweep" for nearly a week...headlines its Super Tuesday Advance Coverage with Donna Brazile suggesting that Romney might not have the kind of day that will end it for him. (Talk about a network that will say anything to keep your interest.)
And, does anyone really care what Fox News has to say...that you can't get by going directly to either the RNC OR the "Magic Underwear In Every Drawer" websites? I mean, when Church-goin', bible-thumpin, Mike Chuckleberry tells you that Mitt is the guy...even though the only people who kept him in his handful of 2008 Primaries are lined up with Tricky Ricky and think Romney is the Anti-Christ...
Well...that's your first indication that marching orders have been issued, and henceforth all calls will be monitored...for quality assurance purposes".
So where do you go to land the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Not to Drudge. Santorum labeled Matt Drudge "a Romney Cheerleader and stooge". (Good catch, Rick. It wasn't like Andy Daddy was trying to hide it.)
Not to the Guardian's "Pick the Primary Results and win a ticket on The Last Train To Clarksville" Contest
Have you taken a gander at some of those "entries"? Something tells me three of the four campaigns have interns banging out entries at a rate of ten per hour...while the Gingrich campaign aides are busy trying to master that wacky new "Pong" game.
Oh...pardon the minor course deviation...but:
1. Congrats to Stenny Hoyer for reading this Blog, and giving a wider audience to my previous recommendation that Sandra Fluke SUE "The Fat Whore" on the theory that his outrageous commentary constituted Slander Per Se...and that his publishing of the same comments on his website added an additional Libel, also of the "Per Se" variety.
2. For those of you who doubted the assertion that Adam's Apple Annie Coultergeist was either an alien life form sent here to consume live brain cells...OR, a braindead twit of a media whore in her own right...perhaps you didn't see her interview earlier today where she compared and equated Andrew Breitbart...TO JOHN LENNON?
3. In response to Ted Nugent's endorsement of Mitt Romney this past weekend...Newt Gingrich announced that Joe Cocker came in through the bathroom window, endorsed Newt, had a seizure and Left the building.
Not to be outdone, Rick Santorum issued a release which stated that Elvis had in fact NOT left the building...had, HAND-TOSSED a pizza that the two men ultimately shared...endorsed Tricky Ricky...and was promptly appointed to the position of White House Chef...in a "Sanitarium Administration".
On hearing the news of this new round of musical endorsements...Ron Paul just laughed and said, "...I don't know what all the fuss is about...or why anyone thinks that any of these Rock Stars opinions matter. Half the time, you can't even understand what the heck they're sayin'." An hour LATER though...Paul completely "changed his tune"...announcing that after he had personally performed a posthumous baptism in favor of both J.S. Bach AND Igor Stravinsky...BOTH musicians posthumously endorsed Paul...and thanked him for all of the assistance they had each received from the Congressmen...while the two were alive.
Back to Not So Super Tuesday...
Yes, there ARE 10 contests. I ASSUME we can all agree on THAT?
The Virginia Ballot has only Mitt Romney and Ron Paul on it.
M'kay...there are really NINE contests. So...when the rest of the RNC O&O Pundits start telling the world at 6:01 Eastern Time, about what a cakewalk THEIR GUY had today...AT LEAST don't include Virginia in the parade of states.
Massachusetts...is not only one of the THIRTY-SEVEN STATES where Mitt Romney qualifies as either a favorite son, or a bastard child...BUT, it's also a state where he had at least enough swing to win a gubernatorial election a few years back.
And then...there were EIGHT..."contests," I mean.
If you're going to discount Newt's impending colossal victory in Georgia...Mitt has to be given equal disrespect.
And, why do I suggest that Newt is being disrespected?
Virtually EVERY news outlet has reported that OHIO carries the MOST DELEGATES to be awarded by one state in today's elections. AND...following discussions of Ohio, pick any state out of 3 or four others which DO NOT start with "G" and end in "A"...and ALL in THAT group have been labeled as "THE NEXT" most significant contests.
For the record...GEORGIA offers the largest individual delegate prize of the day, AND...much as I hate to actually suggest that "the truth" has ever inadvertently escaped the Lips of the Lizard...he is absolutely correct in saying that if Tricky Ricky was not on the Georgia Ballot...Newt might just get over EIGHTY PERCENT of the down-home vote...even though he IS...a carpet-bagging, redheaded stepson of the South.
So...Not So Super Tuesday is down to THREE CAUCUSES...FOUR CONTESTED PRIMARIES...Romney's Home State, Newt's Home State...and a place where HALF THE CANDIDATES AREN'T ON THE BALLOT!
And yet...the event is being hailed as the tipping point of the campaign cycle.
Following today, Santorum and Gingrich will OWN the next two weeks, which will see Santorum clean house in Kansas and Missouri (again)...while Gingrich will remind Romney how "the Good People of Alabama and Mississippi" treat "Non-Christians" what jes' happens to wander into the wrong trailer park.
All of this, of course setting up the REAL "Super Period" in the race...which comes between Illinois on March 20, through Texas...with its 155 Delegates at stake on April 3rd. If Romney won EVERY DELEGATE today, he would be little more than halfway to the nomination. In contrast, the Illinois - Texas trek will award one and a half times the "Super" Tuesday total...AND come after Gingrich and Santorum have closed the gap in "Show-Me"..."OZ"...and "The Lands Time Forgot".
Having said all of that...today could still get kind of interesting. And, since everybody wants to start with Ohio...let's start there.
Lots of reasons why Santorum should do well. Yes, the poll numbers have evened out. HOWEVER...even yesterday...Rasmussen, the telephonic annoyance which IS the RNC, and fully co-opted by Fox News...actually has SANTORUM up by 1%. ALSO...PPP...no friend of Santorum in the past...has Romney in the lead by ONLY 1%. Simultaneous to that...CNN suggests that for Romney to do well in OHIO...he MUST be delivered by THE CATHOLIC VOTE. Love him or hate him...these are Santorum's Peeps. And, I wouldn't want to NEED that block, if I were anybody but Tricky Ricky. ALSO...for reasons that are absolutely unexplainable...Romney's "final days" attack on Santorum labeld him as "A UNION STOOGE".
Pardon me, Mitt? Did you not get the memo on what UNION STOOGES have done to the Kasich attempt to curtail UNION CONTRACTS...IN OHIO...IN THE LAST THREE MONTHS?
There is every reason to think that Romney will grab off a 5% win in Ohio. I get it. The MACHINE is in full swing moreso than at any time during the course of this campaign. And, it COULD happen...BUT the polling data and the other factors I mentioned, make my left hand itch, and have me looking for city boy with a pocket full of Benjamins. What have ya got for me, Catholics? Are ya gonna give it up just so you can meet up with Albert Einstein in Mormon Heaven?
We'll soon see.
Here, again...the more questionable of the polling entities are moving Romney within striking distance on the day before election day. Simultaneous to that...Newt touts a poll that moves HIM to within the margin of error, tied with Romney...AND...just goes to show you that in the solid south, more than anywhere else, that Gingrich - Santorum vote is DOUBLE the Romney support, OR GREATER!
By the way...take Gingrich off of the Ohio Ballot...and Romney is TOAST...even WITH a little help from St. Aloysius Gonzaga.
So, in Tennessee...Romney has a chance to divide and conquer. BUT...He ALSO has a chance TO FINISH THIRD! Turnout from "The Churches" is again the key...and in Tennessee...Romney won't get ANY of it.
Out on the ol' limb...Santorum gets the win. NEWT takes second.
Same story in Oklahoma...except Romney is a more distant 3rd.
Rounding out the Primaries...Romney wins virtually nothing in Vermont.
HERE, is where there could be some serious CAUCUSMANIA!
Romney was, and is still predicted by MANY to be the odds-on favorite IN ALL THREE CAUCUSES.
Idaho...HEY, Romney wins EVERYTHING in "The West"...especially where states have even as many as nine Mormons living in them. Alaska...HEY, It doesn't get ANY MORE "WESTERN" than THAT, does it? North Dakota/...HEY, Mitt's gonna suck their shale outta the ground THROUGH A STRAW to get their vote.
On this, I'm going to be REALLLLLLLL RIght...or reallllll M-bare-assed later tonight.
Alaska AND North Dakota go to Ron Paul. Idaho goes to Romney by less than 5%.
Romney's Delegate addition, for the night?
181...not the 211 called for by Chuck Todd...and NOT the death blow to either Santorum OR Gingrich...who will cut deeper into Romney's operating margins over the next two weeks.
Lastly...Rush continues to lose advertisers...because THE WORLD SAW THROUGH ALL THREE APOLOGIES.
NOT ONCE DID HE JUST STOP...AFTER "APOLOGIZING". EACH TIME HE REDUCED THE "APOLOGY" TO NOTHING...WITH WHAT FOLLOWED.
I'll re-visit Rush, Breitbart, and others...after the post-mortem of Not So Super Tuesday.
Have a truly Blessed day!
Monday, March 5, 2012
Apologies to those who actually do enjoy this blog going up in the middle of the night most nights.
Unfortunately...late yesterday, I had three different topics being contemplated, and was having some trouble deciding if good humor, or something more serious should be the order of the day.
Then...I read an article in "A MAJOR NATIONAL PURVEYOR OF PUNDANCY"...and "the Way" was made clear.
Two supposedly MAJOR endorsements were announced yesterday, in support of The Mighty Mittster, which this article suggests will have the other three remaining candidates calling it quits in no time.
The least significant of the two new Romney endorsements comes from House Majority Leader, Eric Cantor.
I say "least significant"...because even 49% of republican House Members would stare at the floor or off in the distance when pressed on the issue of whether they even voted for the guy in the first place.
One 30 second observation of Cantor and you would bet the farm that this guy spent all of high school and three years of college in a trash can, locked in a locker, with a wedgie...AND a "Kick Me" sign that couldn't be seen IN the locker...but, it just wouldn't be right if it wasn't there.
Plus...Cantor said yesterday that it was important for him to make the announcement BEFORE SUPER TUESDAY.
Note to House Majority Leader Cantor:
YOU ARE FROM VIRGINIA...WHERE ONLY MITT ROMNEY AND RON PAUL ARE ON THE BALLOT!
DO YOU SO FEAR RON PAUL...THAT YOU FELT YOUR ENDORSEMENT WAS NECESSARY TO SAVE THE MASSACHUSSETTES MODERATE FROM A THRASHING AT THE HANDS OF The Grand Old Party's GRAND OLD MAN?
Cantor's endorsement was, in reality...as meaningless as Eric Cantor.
Sorry, Mrs. Cantor. Some things never change.
On to THE REAL ENDORSEMENT of the day.
Mitt! Willard! Whatever new name, you intend to take after the "white smoke" proclaims your impending Mormon Papacy...
FINALLY...you can take a deep breath!
Your 50 year quest for relevance is at an end.
"Former Attorney General"...John Ashcroft...has SAID IT IS SO!
But WAIT...as they say...THERE'S MORE!
I mean...if the endorsement Romney was getting from a "Former Attorney General"...was from Former Attorney General "EDMUND JENNINGS RANDOLPH"...who...had a major hand in actually penning things like, oh...I don't know...
THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES! (Maybe you've heard of it?)
MAYBE...the endorsement would have some value.
HOWEVER...lest ANYONE FORGET...
John Ashcroft, was chosen by GEORGE W. BUSH to serve as Attorney General...after the voters in his home state of Missouri found him to be such a poor candidate for the US Senate...THAT THEY ELECTED A DEAD GUY...rather than vote for Ashcroft.
To remind those who don't recall...Ashcroft was A SITTING UNITED STATES SENATOR...running for RE-ELECTION in 2000.
A MONTH BEFORE THE ELECTION...the Democratic Candidate DIED IN A PLANE CRASH. Missouri Courts refused to allow the candidate's name to be either replaced or even withdrawn from the ballot.
When the counting was completed...John Ashcroft, the Sitting Senator, had lost BY FIFTY THOUSAND VOTES...to Mel Carnahan...a.k.a...
"THE DEAD GUY"!
And...if you thought THAT was John's Crowning Life Achievement...
...then you forget, that as Attorney General...Ashcroft agreed to PLAY DEAD...in order that Dick Cheney could get both enhanced surveillence of US Citizens, and torture of terror suspects either renewed or in place.
ASHCROFT ALSO...wrote, and then SANG AT A NATIONALLY TELEVISED PRESS CONFERENCE...his Smash Hit Single, "When the Eagle Soars".
...which, by itself explains how he lost to THE DEAD GUY.
Oh...and just for good measure, John Ashcroft...covered the partially clad statues OF BLIND JUSTICE in federal buildings, WITH BLUE CURTAINS and maybe MOST EGREGIOUSLY...CREATED AND SIGNED OFF ON THE FEDERAL PLOT TO ENTRAP COMEDIAN TOMMY CHONG, by conspiring to secure passage of a statute in one state regarding the introduction of drug paraphernalia into that state...and then ordering a bong from Chong's internet-based company...located in a state where his activities were entirely legal.
Tommy Chong ended up in a federal penitentiary...while Ashcroft's "TIPS" Program...which HE CREATED...and which calls for US Citizens TO REPORT THEIR NEIGHBORS TO THE FEDS (especially if your A-Hole neighbor keeps blocking the place where YOUR trash cans go...) so that they can be perhaps flown to a secret prison in Yemen...FOR FURTHER INTERROGATION...under one off his OTHER remaining programs.
Boy, "Mitt"...YOU ARE "IN"!
Just hope Barack Obama STAYS ALIVE for 8 months. Ashcroft had a ZERO PERCENT WIN RATE...AGAINST DEAD GUYS.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Rush Limbaugh issued "an apology" today, to Georgetown Law Student, Sandra Fluke. Limbaugh had called her both a slut...and a prostitute on radio shows aired earlier in the week. When first called on his outburst, Limbaugh not only refused to accept either that he had acted in any way inappropriately, or that an apology was in order...but also confirmed to the world just how "right" he was in his initial assessment of Ms. Fluke...that he went after her AGAIN!
Even in the face of lukewarm pseudo-admonishments from Speaker Boner, a sloughing off of the commentary by Tricky Ricky Sanitarium...and the conscious avoidance of the controversy by Mitt of the Magic Underwear, Limbaugh was emboldened. He was his disgustingly arrogant self. He beat his massive and obviously hardening arteries...and more than openly challenged both Fluke and her cadre of supporters to "DO SOMETHING ABOUT" his remarks.
And they did.
In a total of less than 72 hours...not one, not two, but SIX major advertisers of the Limbaugh radio show had suspended or cancelled outright, their contractual advertising commitments. At least three others remained in jeopardy. Clear Channel had more than obviously rented a large crane...and lifted Limbaugh from his self-contained egotorium...for a relatively short trip to the woodshed.
El Douchebo would immediately commission the architects of more than a dozen versions of "The Newt Gingrich Story"...to craft "An Apology".
Let's give that "Apology"...all of the attention that it deserves. Let's see how REASONABLE, under ALL of the circumstances, that "Apology" really is...in the hope that the balance of Limbaugh's advertisers will be forced to weigh their remaining decisions, and not be surprised, if other REASONABLE people refuse to accept anything other than the abandonment of someone who should have had his microphone turned off (and shoved up his galactically-copious ass, while he was still a PR Boy for the Kansas City Royals Baseball Team).
Remember...Limbaugh made the original statements regarding Fluke, ON WEDNESDAY. The controversy was ON, and the forces of right and good were now formed against The Ball-less One.
However...the reactionary right was either silent, or supportive. More importantly, Clear Channel, Limbaugh's syndicator...gave more than tacit approval of the commentary...by allowing their own ignorance of the events to signal that Limbaugh had a free hand to carpet bomb Ms. Fluke again on Thursday.
And he did.
After suggesting on Thursday, that he wasn't going to address the issue further, the morbidly obese eunuch spent OVER AN HOUR both RE-STATING his previous comments, "revising and extending his remarks"...and MORE IMPORTANTLY...
Also on Thursday...Romney again avoided commenting on the controversy, Fox News issued a statement of support of Limbaugh, and its own slap at Fluke...and...
...The Good Guys and Girls got even "pisseder and pisseder".
Either taking the bait or psychotically declaring himself to BE God...as opposed to just borrowing His "talent"...Limbaugh began his "Open Line Friday"...NOT with any "OPEN LINE" calls, but with ANOTHER HOUR of both rantings about Mrs. Fluke, and an even more targeted attack on those who had collectively taken up her cause. Noticeably ABSENT during the entire "three hours" of his Friday program, was...
So...to recap; Limbaugh made his remarks on Wednesday. He had a full day to evaluate whether he had either chosen his words poorly, or, just plain..."f'd up" the day before.
After a careful review of his conduct the previous day, the ALWAYS EXCESSIVELY PREPARED "NRA Dough Boy" launched into Fluke again.
Between Thursday's secondary nuking of Ms. Fluke, and the opening of Friday's show...a REASONABLE person might conclude, that as the controversy gained even more momentum...EVEN IF Limbaugh had NOT given prior consideration to EITHER the remarks themselves, or a level of response which Limbaugh could neither have anticipated, nor currently comprehend...that THIS might be a pretty decent time to conduct a little personal reflection and assessment.
And yet...not only was there no "Apology"...Limbaugh's actions show that the larger than Uranus Caricature STILL believed that he was both larger than life...and completely bulletproof.
And why wouldn't he?
For TWENTY-EIGHT YEARS...and particularly for the last 13 years with Clear Channel Communications, Limbaugh has committed ethical and moral abuses of public decency, each one more egregious than the other...and done so with impunity, and with the confidence that the now FIFTY MILLION DOLLAR annual salary from the show's syndicator effectively mandated that Clear Channel support any and every venomous expulsion.
In this instance, Clear Channel once again validated the attack on Sandra Fluke from Wednesday...until Thursday...until Friday...and until THE SIXTH MAJOR ADVERTISER had suspended or canceled ad contracts on Saturday.
LESS THAN FOUR HOURS LATER...Limbaugh issued "An Apology".
Limbaugh started his "Apology" by indicating that the reference to Sandra Fluke as "A SLUT" and "A PROSTITUTE"...was "NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK".
Well, THANK GOD for THAT. If only South American Dictators had issued similar "apologies" after attaching ELECTRODES to the GENITALS of their dissidents...
"My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices."
...because "SLUT" and "PROSTITUTE" are far more "HUMOROUS" than they could ever be "INSULTING".
Buried in the middle of his TWO SENTENCES of "NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK" and "I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE"...Limbaugh ALSO said...
"I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress. I personally do not agree that American citizens should pay for these social activities. What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? Where do we draw the line? If this is accepted as the norm, what will follow? Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit? In my monologue, I posited that it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone's bedroom nor do I think it is a topic that should reach a Presidential level."
Friday, March 2, 2012
I mean no disrespect to Orson Bean's daughter, nor the four children she shared with Andrew Breitbart. I'm not elated at his passing, as some have shown themselves to be throughout the day. I am truly saddened at the loss of any life.
I acknowledge Matt Drudge as an Internet Genius, and that he passed substantial amounts of knowledge to an individual who proved himself to be equally effective in using that knowledge...while being an incalculable exponent greater than Drudge when it comes to both being a true junkyard dog...and being willing to play fast and loose with both rules, decorum, and truth.
Make no mistake about it. Andrew Breitbart was a gifted individual who, in the beginning, middle and end...saw himself as being as much the story as that which he sought to uncover.
Do I think that Breitbart was any different than what Keith Olberman has become?
Do I believe that if Roger Ailes had re-discovered Andrew Breitbart a day before Bill O'Reilly...that Bill-O would be still be allowing the world to witness his ever-receding hairline, more gaunt than ever look that he has about him...which often makes me wonder about HIS general health...OR, that he would have continued to grab off the big payday for all these way too many years?
Not an O'Reilly's Chance in Compton or East St. Louis.
I agree that an Andrew Breitbart comes along only a few times in any given generation. I pray for his soul in the same way I would pray for a beloved family member, treasured pet, or the criminals who hung on either side of Jesus Christ. Unlike Andrew Breitbart, who was a proponent of capital punishment, attacks on abortion clinics, senseless war for bullshit jingoistic reasons...while feigning concern for the unborn, because "ALL LIFE IS SACRED"...I really do believe that ALL life is sacred.
My heart goes out to his family and friends, in the same sense that I would hope others would desire comfort for my family, should I not finish this Posting.
I'm no Saint. Never claimed to be. I've been places, seen things, done things, spoken up when I shouldn't...and remained silent when I could have and should have been the voice upon the nearest mountain top. When my end comes, there will be tears, a few jeers, but no one who knows me will say I didn't touch, or change their life, or make at least one of their days more interesting, exciting, or flat out crazed...than it might otherwise have been. I don't live in a glass house, and I'm not throwing stones.
What I am saying is that for WHATEVER his real and/or purported reasons...and DESPITE the VOLUMES of testimonials which came out of more mouths today, faster than Newt Gingrich could come up with new life histories...Andrew Breitbart took pleasure in distorting facts for his personal gain, and ALWAYS under circumstances where his gain coincided with the destruction of SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE.
But, of course...it was never HIS DOING.
He was just "reporting the news".
The same way Bill O'Reilly had NOTHING TO DO WITH the execution of Dr. John Tiller.
The same way Bill & Hannity had nothing to do with mass murder at a Tennessee Church, where the killer's lair was strewn with their books, tapes, notes, and other hate speech.
Whatever Andrew Breitbart DID...to "revolutionize the Internet". Whatever he DID to advance what half the nation might believe to be a legitimate cause. Whatever he did to "SAVE THE NATION FROM THE COMMIES"...
He did it HATING people...particularly ANYONE that THE SAME GOD AS HIS, may have given a different perspective, point of view, outlook on the universe...or understanding of who God was, and how THAT PERSON had been called by that same God...to lend benefit to mankind.
I write this Blog in an effort, as I have always openly acknowledged...to both educate, and make my readers laugh as often as their funny bones will allow.
YES...I play with the names of candidates as an overt ACT OF GOOD HUMOR.
Yes...I called Ann Coulter, "Adam's Apple Annie"...JUST YESTERDAY. That's only because she PRETENDS to be a tough girl...yet she has openly refused to debate me for more than a decade.
Yes...I mock the Gingrich and Palin Families.
But if any one of them had a heart attack in my presence, they would get chest compressions and mouth to mouth without a second thought, or a single second wasted...even The Fat Lizard.
It isn't referring to Sarah Palin's Glenn Rice Moment, or even Andrew Breitbart laying hands on the photo of Weiner's Weiner which will get people killed by psychopaths in Tennessee or anywhere else in the world. You screw a much younger basketball player on his way to the NBA,,,or send a 8X10 of your 3X5 to a woman WHO IS NOT YOUR WIFE...and you are comic fodder...FOREVER!
On the other hand...when you distort the truth for the purpose of ruining lives to support YOUR RISE TO FAME AND FORTUNE...all the while saying and doing things that encourage the kind of people who still go to Klan meetings in Rural Georgia...to not only keep going, but to not stop there...
When YOUR WORDS, unquestionably are the motivating force behind tens of thousands...OR EVEN ONE PERSON deciding that THEY have somehow been endowed by their Creator to determine which life is sacred and who, on the other hand, is expendable...
When GOD becomes YOUR TOOL...instead of YOU serving as HIS...
I don't care if your name is Andrew Breitbart of FILL-IN-THE-BLANK. Whatever earthly praise you may be entitled to for changing the face of the 24 Hour News Content Delivery System...
That praise will fall on the same deaf ears which you accorded to the equally supportable positions taken by your earthly adversaries...when each of you tap on THE SAME PEARLY GATES, in search of the approval of The ONLY One Whose Opinion Truly Matters.
I have said this before...you don't bring ANYONE together...by pulling as hard as you can, FROM EITHER END. You bring people together BY PULLING THE ENDS...to the middle.
Andrew Breitbart couldn't find the Middle with a Star Map. It is sad that his life was lost at such a young age.
It is sadder yet that the only life he ever knew was one of anger, ideological lust, and that he was willing to sacrifice DECADES of time which could have been spent WITH HIS FAMILY...in peace and love...as opposed to declaring himself judge, jury and executioner of all whose thought process didn't mirror his own.
Rest in Peace, Andrew...for the first time "in your life".