Monday, January 16, 2012

5 Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Despite the fact that almost no one makes up their mind, or changes their mind on the strength of any one, or all of the 5,284 republican presidential debates which have taken place in the past three months...these things are kinda like Madonna kissing Britney, or that video of your brother soiling his white tux at your wedding.

You could watch 'em a million times, and still want to see it again.

That must be the reason that there will be yet another useless debate on Thursday...before an election which Fox News says is already over...in a campaign where Fox News also says has that the outcome is inevitable.

Maybe...that's why they only ask Ron Paul foreign policy questions, and don't interview him after any debates?

Rick Dubyah Perry proclaims that Turkey is ruled by Islamic Terrorists. Ron Paul reiterates the notion that spending trends of millions of dollars to build a new embassy in Iraq is a wasted expenditure.

And...1) Fox makes sure Perry gets post-debate face time, WITHOUT overtly mocking the idiot OR effecting an involuntary commitment to a psychiatric facility...2) Fox makes certain that the debate audience is given more time to boo Paul, than the candidate was given to answer questions, and 3) Bret Baier gets yet another two hours to openly flaunt the fact that he has either seen parts of Rupert Murdoch that shouldn't be shown to man our beast...OR...has got pictures, videos and signed confessions from Roger Ailes AND his favorite sheep.

I mean, the fifty-four Iowa debates were taxing. But, at least we had a.lunatic screaming, "9-9-9" every 26 seconds, some woman who lived in a shoe...and even though she had 147 children...not a ONE would lay claim to her after her 67th utterance of the name, "Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan," and some Jacklown in Magic Underwear, berating another member of the Brotherhood.

(That was, of course, until the first Jacklown packed it in and realized that the guy he had been bashing the bejesus out of...was really EITHER the honest to goodness best candidate...OR...the only other guy in the race that also wore Magic Underoos.)

I guess what made this debate stand out from the rest...was the fact that the South Carolinians in the audience completely and totally debunked virtually every negative stereotype anyone with live brain cells ever held, concerning the cracker-ass, bigoted, openly homophobic, flaming retards we have heard and read so much about.

I mean, it's not like they booed a specific reference to The Golden  Rule, or anything...

What? They...You're not...You can't be serious?

They booed THE GOLDEN RULE?

IN SOUTH CAROLINA?

THE HEART OF THE BIBLE BELT?

Yeah...let's make that point REAL clear. An entire arena of South Carolinians...most of whom spent yesterday seated in one of the state's  72,000 churches...BOOED THE GOLDEN RULE!

To be fair...they also booed a black faux journalist named Juan Williams, a question about black people in general...AND...applauded almost psychotically, the openly racist responses of two of the debate's "whitest" candidates...

...all on Martin Luther King's birthday.

Ah, yes...Martin Luther King. You all remember him.

He changed an entire Nation...but couldn't get South Carolina to change its Sheets.

Suffice it to say...that it will more than likely be the $12,000,000.00 which is being spent by only 5 candidates on negative ads over the next five days...AND NOT a single word said tonight, or on Thursday, which will send Rick Dubyah packing, and trigger the countdown on the Newt Gingrich Life Support Removal Timetable.

It couldn't possibly have anything to do with the red letter words of Jesus Christ...or the virtual impossibility of rational thought being trucked into the Great Hate of South Carolina, anytime in the next give days.

Man, am I happy that God has cable.

You pricks are gonna have to answer for that Golden Rule thing someday.

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