Sunday, January 22, 2012

After Further Review...

Billy Cundiff and Kyle Williams have entered Witness Protection, the Giants & Patriots are on their way to the Super Bowl, Joe Paterno is about to find out how forgiving God really is...and PLEASE...STOP SUGGESTING THAT MITT ROMNEY NOT WINNING THE SOUTH CAROLINA PRIMARY MEANS ANYTHING AT ALL.

Newt says his win is proof that he is both, the only conservative in the race...and the only republican who can beat Barack Obama.

NEWS FLASH!

1. In 2008, almost the same number of Palmettos determined that John McCain was more conservative than everyone from Duncan Hunter and Tom Tancredo, to Mike Huckabee, Fred Thomson, and Mitt Romney.

And, apparently...that only John McCain could beat Barack Obama.

THAT...as we know didn't happen.

Oh, and PS...in 2000 South Carolina  declared George W. Bush to be the conservative 2nd coming of Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan. You remember George W. Bush, who nationalized banks, car companies, and everything he could get his socialist little hands on before slipping off to an undisclosed location.

2. In 2012...Mitt Romney received TWICE AS MANY percentage points, in South Carolina, as he did in 2008.

3. Barney Frank could come out of retirement, become a republican, and answer his debate questions from under Barack Obama's lectern...AND STILL GET 45% OF THE VOTE NATIONALLY.

Ergo, henceforth, and WTF? I'm sorry, Newt...but, for one of the few times in your life...the truth has to account for something.

Over EIGHTY PERCENT of South Carolina republicans voting this weekend identified themselves as either Evangelicals...or Born Again Christians.

Last time I checked...Willard Romney identified himself, his wife, their 29 children, his Mexican father...and grandfather who fled the US to avoid being indicted for POLYGAMY...as MORMONS.

IN FACT...if any candidate has the right to be pissed over the fact that good church folk decided to pull a lever, mark an "X" or even sit on the lap of a serial adulteter...it would be Rick Santorum. Those lying Christians promised to support him, and he didn't even get one out out five.

If there is absolutely anything to take away from this one primary...maybe some would fall into these categories.

A. Mitt was NEVER THE GUY ANYBODY NOT NAMED ROMNEY...WANTED TO GO TO BAT FOR THEM.

B. After everything from Enron, to Health South, to Global Crossings, Tyco, twenty Banks, three car makers. AIG and a multitude of foreign governments...the little guy isn't taking any shit...from the nearest almost billionaire.

Mitt Romney has, more strikes against him now than he did during any previous attempt at becoming president. In fact THE ONLY THING that kept the old line establishment republicans on his team, was that WITHIN THIS GROUP OF CANDIDATES...he was coachable and could be kept under control.

No one in the establishment wanted someone OF EITHER PARTY TO BECOME PRESIDENT...WHO IS NEITHER COACHABLE...OR CONTROLLABLE.

Establishment Democrats didn't WANT Barack Obama. They were 1) stuck with him, and 2) scared shitless that he actually meant some of that "I'm my own man" and "Change is coming  to Washington" stuff. Once he got there and "Establishment Joe Biden" made the proper introductions and they founded out Barack was just fine the way things were...everything was cool.

Fast forward to 2012 when the establishment republicans had a gander at the roster. Mitt wasnt the preferred choice. He may not be "Washington"...but he sure as hell IS Wall Street. And short of being told your diagnosis of genital warts was confirmed...I'm not sure an establishment republican could have heard worse news.

However, within that list of republican presidential candidates there was that one guy...yeah, he's Wall Street, pompous, big money, shit don't stink, homes on every coast and in 14 countries, owns his own plane...BUT..when we put our establishment hand up his back to make his lips move...it will be his voice mouthing our words.

...coachable AND controllable.

Mitt, however...went off the reservation EARLY IN THE GAME.

TAX RETURNS?

WE DONT NEED NO STINKIN' TAX RETURNS ¡

(Maybe not when your father ran, Willard. But, in 2012..yes you do.) 
And, before you put them out there, you ACCEPT that youre gonna get hammered for two news cycles, while your establishment handlers construct a more interesting story to grab the presses attention, and you don't hear about it again until the general election.

What you DON'T DO...IS MAKE OUT A BIGGER STORY, SO MUCH SO THAT YOUR BUDDY, CHRIS CHUNKY MONKEY FROM NEW JERSEY, HAD TO PUBLICLY LET YOU HAVE IT, AS ONLY HE CAN.

"YO! IVY LEAGUE! WHAT ARE YIU, FUCKED IN THE HEAD? PUT OUT THE TAX RETURNS AND STOP BEING. A DOUCHE BAG!"  ("PS...DONT MAKE ME COME DOWN DHERE!")

I'm feeling the need to make this a two part piece...or maybe three. For now, I'll simply say, the old liners are already re-evaluating Mitt. He's not in a battle with Newt...and sorry, Newt...you can't be president. You can't even be a nominee. And, while I didn't want to go over it in detail...I will in another part of this piece.

However...I do feel the need to talk much more about what will save or end the Romney campaign...and what the old liners are already doing as part of their playing, of the "What If" game.

Enjoy the debate tonight...recognizing, of course, that voters...and the real people who matter, are two different groups, who will be watching for 2 different reasons.

More on that later...and more on the republican schism...which is truly all that matters in this election cycle.

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