Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Audacity of Dope...Parts II and III

Michele Bacmannn is out. We know that, because Sarah of the red leather miniskirt called Michele and pretended to be the voice of the house made famous by the movie "The Amityville Horror". It was apparently a very short conversation.

Bachmann answers a RINGING PHONE.

BACHMANN: Hello.

Palin's voice is more beastly than either Tina Fey or Casper's Evil Twin could project.

PALIN: GET...OUT!

Now...as funny as that scene could be, all by itself. What happened next sent Roger Corman into his own personal Hell on Earth. Apparently Roger ran to the nearest microwave and simultaneously stuck his head inside, turned on the device with one hand, while sticking his free hand in a blender and using a foot to hit frappe'

Ya see...the King of 1000 bad "B", "C", and even "D" movies was incensed with himself that it wasn't HIM, who devised the plan to have Michele Bachmann quit FIRST, so that her three remaining supporters could already start hawking Mitt for the VP slot.

Now...I know, I was begging Mitt (privately, of course) to pick Rick Dubyah Perry...assuming that Mitt actually gets to pick anybody (which, if you keep reading, you'll see will NOT happen). But, that...was because I just didn't want to go to Heaven without being able to tell the other Angels about how the Great Biden-Perry Debate turned out.

However...after hearing the same story from Chuck (man, are you disappointing me lately) Todd, Carl Jeffers, and a host of others...there must at least be some validity behind the motivation for the Corman suicide.

To end this tale, let me simply say this...Mitt may not be the smartest guy on the stage...but, he is certainly in the top tier...and pretty far up the food chain, in that respect. Michele Bachmann, on the other hand is...well...MICHELE BACHMANN...whose lack of concern for, or ability to even comprehend, oh...I don't know...ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY RESEMBLING AN ACTUAL FACT...delivered her fewer votes in the Iowa Caucuses than she got in the Iowa Straw Poll!

Mitt may be a lot of things. And, even though he was endorsed yesterday by John McCain...something tells me Mitt, if he did get to pick a VP candidate...WOULDN'T INTENTIONALLY PICK ONE THAT WOULD LOSE THE ELECTION BEFORE IT BEGAN.

I guess what is most disconcerting, is the fact that major news outlets gave this steaming pile of non-news, ANY TIME AT ALL...when on the same day, James Dobson and Gary Bauer launched their plan to carpet bomb Romney in one fell swoop.

In case you didn't know, because MSNBC was too tied up with the Bachmann VP story...or Pat Robertson's announcement that God came to him recently and REVEALED THE OUTCOME OF THE ELECTION ALREADY...James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, and Gary Bauer, former head of the Family Research Council...have organized a weekend retreat at a Texas ranch, for HUGE money people...in order to determine if they can live with Mitt...or...they have to kill him.

According to an email invite announcing the event, Dobson and Bauer suggested the purpose of the gathering to be the decision to either coalesce behind an existing candidate, or encourage the entry of a new candidate...behind whom coalescing...might be possible.

Now...forget for a moment that I used to know someone who worked at Focus on the Family...who left after finding out that not only his, but most of the offices at the corporate headquarters were bugged...and that company computers were found to have key stroke monitors, with copies of all personal correspondence being backed up, printed out, and reviewed by "Dr." Dobson.

I guess none of that is a crime. Nor is it really a crime to kinda sorta make yourself out to be a religious leader when you're really not an ordained minister...and never have been. It may not even be a crime to lambaste SOME who commit acts of sexual misconduct while excusing others as a guest on the Larry King Show. And...it may not be actionable to not tell the millions of followers why you really left, or were asked to leave the worldwide ministry which you founded.

On the other hand...

To brazenly circulate a letter inviting ONE ONE-THOUSANDTH...OF THE ONE PERCENT...TO SHOW UP AT A TEXAS RANCH...AND CONSPIRE WITH YOU AND AN ARGUABLY GAY MIDGET...TO SUBVERT THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE UP THE POLITICAL PARTY WHICH YOUR OWN WARPED VIEW OF THE UNIVERSE HAS YOU CONVINCED JESUS WOULD SUPPORT...

...will likely end up having Jesus Himself asking you to leave the worldwide ministry that HE founded.

Now...any of the thousands of daily readers of this blog know, I'm no big fan of Mitt or his Magic Tighty-Whiteys. I'm even lesser of a fan of Tricky Ricky Sanatarium...the Mitt Alternative, du jour. (...and for more specific reasons yet to come...)

However...if there were EVER a more blatant revelation of the fact that the "one man-one vote" principle has died and gone straight to Hell...it is when Faux Christians in their 70's and 80's...who have personally profited to the tune of HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS off of the REAL FAITH OF THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN THE COMMITMENT OF CHRIST TO ABSOLUTELY NO PART OF THE POLITICAL PROCESS...AND WHO ACCEPT THE CHARGE THAT WE FOLLOW HIM BY LOVING HIM ABOVE ALL OTHERS AND LOVING OTHERS AS HE LOVED US.

Love him or hate him. Call him Willard, or Mitt...or Mittens, Mitt of the Magic Underwear...Mitt O'Romney, or even my personal favorite..."Obama-Lighter"...Willard Romney should be judged as a politician, based on what he has done, what it is perceived he will do if elected, and yes...the guiding principles which anyone might believe he will carry in his heart, soul or briefcase as he enters the oval office everyday.

But...and please listen closely "Dr" Dobson...Gay Bauer...and the rest of your Klavern of knights of the realm...

THAT...IS WHAT ELECTIONS ARE ALL ABOUT!

YOU GET THE SAME ONE VOTE AS EVERYONE...INCLUDING WILLARD ROMNEY!

You don't get to pick the new King.

More later today.

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