Saturday, January 7, 2012

Focus on New Hampshire...and Other Stories.

With Michele Bachmann officially laid to rest, I never expected a complete absence of commentary which would begin with the phrase, "How ridiculous is THIS".

I just didn't expect the very first such offering in this category to come from the candidate most people (including the candidate) suggest is the smartest guy on the stage.

As a result, I'm literally compelled to put one hand on my hip, point my other index finger in the direction of Newt Gingrich, cock my head a little to the left, and rotate my hands, hips, head, neck and various other body parts in six different directions simultaneously, while imagining myself to be a Puerto Rican woman from Brooklyn on the verge of belting out the time-honored pseudo statement-question...

"...Oh, no you di-int?!"

In case you haven't been paying attention...The Lizard has decided to abandon his professed "all things positive" campaign strategy, in favor of the "No More Mr. Nice Newt" approach to overt psychosis.

And, while no other candidate has been immune from his Lizardly onslaught...Ron Paul's response to the first Gingrinch salvo, sent Newtie Snooty into such a state of shock that the Deposed Former Speaker seems to have exhibited a combination brain fart, seizure and hissy fit, all at the same time.

Translation...

Newtie shit the bed...again!

Here's what happened.

Newt came out and stated that if Ron Paul were the nominee of the party, Newt would not be able to support Paul because his position on Iran was dangerous.

Ron Paul stated that Gingrich was a "Chicken Hawk"...who had never served in the military, but was Hell bent to bomb the bejesus out of all four corners of the known universe, if he felt threatened by so much as a single gnat in any one of them.

It was at this point that Newt consumed an entire bottle of stupid, chased it with a two liter jug of 5 Hour Tard, and proceeded to verbally soil himself...by saying:

"What he (Ron Paul) just said, has the same amount of accuracy as the newsletters he says he never wrote. This is a man who says outrageous things with no facts, and then later denies having said them, or wonders who wrote them...because it wasn't him, even though it was written under his name and he advertised it."

Now...I had planned, and will actually do an in depth preview of both the New Hampshire debates, and the New Hampshire and South Carolina campaigns. Lucky us, there will again be a 2nd and likely a third posting today. However...this being perhaps the dumbest statement that the smartest guy could ever make...I figured it worth a posting unto itself.

I know Newt may be too busy prepping for the two upcoming debates, to get to the blog today. On the other hand...I do get mail from at least two of his staffers, so...there's at least some chance that the logic which escaped both he and his continental shelves worth of ass cheeks, on the first go-round...might get found.

Ron Paul made a statement.

"Newt has never served in the military. Newt supports war in all form, fashion, location...and regardless of reason or justification. Ergo, henceforth and as a result...Newt is a Chicken Hawk."

Newt challenged completely, "the accuracy" of Paul's statement.

Newt claimed the statement to be "outrageous".

Finally, Newt suggested that Paul was laying a foundation to later claim he never made the statement

Fact: Newt Gingrich never served in the United States Military.

Newt Gingrich was Viet Nam draft eligible. However, Newt, Bill O'Reilly and numerous other warmongers willing to send your children to die in combat...employed a practice known as "stacking deferments" in order to make sure that Military Service never ended up on their resumes.

Gingrich, while under a student deferment, earned a bachelor's degree in 1965. Though many who also earned similar degrees in 1965, then entered the military...Gingrich stretched a one year master's degree program into three years, and "stacked" a second student deferment on top of his first.

Yet again, Newt could have entered the military after receiving his master's in 1968...the very height of the Viet Nam War...

...but, he didn't.

What Newt did do...was stay in school to pursue a Ph.D. Ironically...the Ph.D. which could easily have taken a much longer period of time to complete...Gingrich condensed into only three years...and was completed by Newt in 1971...while under a third student deferment.

P.S...The military draft ended in 1971, with the last inductee entering active duty within WEEKS of the time Gingrich rather conveniently opted to conclude his academic sojourn.

So...what part of that portion of Ron Paul's statement is "inaccurate".

Say it with me, Lizard...

"None".

Likewise...and with respect to the claim that some part of what Ron Pail said, is "outrageous"...the only thing outrageous about the statement, is the fact that a "man" such as Newt Gingrich...who used three stacked deferments over a ten year period to keep his fat ass and all six chins out of Viet Nam, would ever be permitted to send anyone into combat...other than himself.

Finally, and least explainable...Gingrich suggested that Ron Paul was constructing a statement with a view toward subsequently denying either its content, attribution, or both.

Ron Paul MADE the statement. It wasn't contained in a newsletter over his name. He called your Chicken Hawk ass out, Newt.

And, my guess is...he might even lay claim to the statement later tonight, again tomorrow...and for so long as you continue to keep, "murdering people, and using an entire generation of kids OTHER THAN YOURS," as the delivery vehicles for you warped sense of "patriotism".

More later.

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