Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Iowa Caucuses - Pre-Post Mortem.

Well, I'm out of the dentist's chair. And, in the intervening two hours...two candidates have demonstrated premature e-jubilation, by issuing web-based proclamations of victory. Two more have endeavored to temper expectations. Two more have tightened their blinders so as to cut off even more of the blood flow to what were once live brain cells. And...the chances of Mitt Romney ever eclipsing 35% of republicans...nationally...has officially been taken off of life support.

Wow...I should lose a tooth more often.

Or, not.

As this COULD BE the last full posting until the Post-Post Mortem on Iowa...I'm going to have to go back out on the limb. Much has transpired since my first call of the Iowa result, roughly a full month ago.

The lead has changed FOUR TIMES. That doesn't include the lead which Mrs. Botchmann purchased at the Straw Poll, or the one poll, taken by Rick Sanatarium's FAMILY...which polled only OTHER MEMBERS...OF RICK SANATARIUM'S FAMILY. The National Republican Party has laid foundation for severing ties with the Tea Baggers...in advance of a potential wagon-circling around Mitt (of Magic Underwear fame). Newt has taken the muzzle off, immediately swallowing numerous small children who had inadvertently wandered into his kill zone. And...Rick Dubyah Perry trucked a man named Jindal...who governs the single most corrupt of the 50 states...to the heartland of America...to aide him in garnering support in an election where perhaps the single most important issue, other than the economy...is GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION.

I know I want my kids to grow up in a country where their government is as transparent as the Gulf of Mexico fifty days into a BP oil spill.

Now...having said all of that...and unlike ALL OTHER COMMENTATORS who will NOT follow me out on the limb...

I'm sticking with Ron Paul.

Why? Because, my democratic friends in Des Moines tell me that D's and I's who went long for Barack O'Bush in 2008...are going to caucus for Ron Paul. Ergo, henceforth and AS SUCH...I'm guessing that EVEN WITH the Chuckleberry vote falling in line behind Tricky Ricky Sanatarium...Ron Paul limps into the Winner's Circle...and starts the shitstorm of rumors about which unannounced republican will be next to announce.

Note...and you heard THIS ONE here even before "first". Four different republicans will win the first four primary contests...at which time, even those who swore they weren't running...will end up running.

Back to Iowa...

Among candidates having a given name other than Uncommitted or No Preference...and in reverse order...

Huntsman

Bachmann

Perry

Gingrich

Romney

Santorum

Paul

What??? A third place finish for a guy with BILLIONS in his, or other war chests which support him?

What??? A third for a conservative who's not a conservative...and who's outdone by a libertarian, and a fascist rereretard?

What??? A third...when ALL MAJOR NEWS ORGANIZATIONS and Mitt of the Magic Underwear have all ANNOUNCED his victory?

Yes.

See you when the caucus empties out. I'll be the one either wearing the halo...or...the goat costume.

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