A quick word of thanks to my dentist, whose actions in removing one tooth and both of her hands from my mouth, now leave MUCH more room...for my foot. Or feet...if I try real hard and "open wide...wider.. wider".
My God, she wasn't talking about working on my mouth...
...She was asking me, "How do you like your Mr. Obama, NOW?"
But, that's another story for another day. I will only say that while I am not particularly happy with the guy I voted FOR in 2008...I will also say that the fact that he is remaining silent and permitting himself to be branded by the far right, who on a daily basis continue to beat the drum which touts The President as a person who is at best, "one who consistently governs from the hard left"...or, even WORSER...a "COMMITTED SOCIALIST".
Mr. Obama may be a few things. Good husband. Great Dad. Nice guy with good intentions who became immediately dominated by the establishment D's he came to turn upside down. I can buy into that...but, hard left governing socialist???
The last "hard-left" Mr. Obama took, was on his way to the interview at the private SOCIALIST school in which he and Mrs. Stalin opted to enroll their children. The only beneficiaries of any hard left, or socialist policies during the Obama administration, have been banks and big businesses.
But...as I said, THAT...is another story.
Back to last night...
The republican party today, is three, three, three dolts in one. I would start other than with the "old-line republican establishment"...but then my internet would become dysfunctional, my Volvo would get "the boot," and my next three dental appointments would be inadvertently scheduled to be handled by a proctologist who spoked just enough English to have it declared his THIRD language.
So...let's start with the old-liners. Ya ALL wanted "control" of the House. Then ya got it...only to realize that you didn't have it. Who needs a "third party"...when you already have one. Speaker Boehner got a Boner on election night 2010. I'm sure he probably shared some part of that experience with Sean, Rush, and the rest of the Malignant Streaming Media.
Then...he realized that his erection was going to last WAY more than 4 hours. And, if ya don't know why it's at THAT point when you had better get you AND your little friend to the ER...ask a nurse. They can ALL explain it in more detail than you want to know about.
So...Just when you thought you had it all, you find out that "New Republicans"...or rather "New-Old Republicans" are not only nothing like what you have become...
Pssst...They actually stand for shit that you thought went out with Y2K.
M'Kay...NOW what do you do. You could try to deal with them?
No...you can't. They don't make deals. You COULD threaten to run candidates against them WITH the support of the RNC in the next election???
No...you can't. That's what THEY DID TO YOU...and are pretty damned prepared to do it to you again this time, too. Oh...NOW, you realize that if YOUR "republicans" lose the same number of seats in the House to "THEIR republicans" in 2012...you not only don't regain the White House, but...even if you DO, you end up even farther behind the eight ball, because NOW, even if "their republicans" don't completely own you YET...the first "deal" they DO make, will be the one made with those damn libs...who also can't wait to introduce you to the business end of a dry rubber glove.
And...what IF? What IF, "the old-new republicans" run their own guy for President, AND take enough additional House seats to bypass the need for a medical professional, and just demand that in order for YOU to keep YOUR Seat (or your Speakership)...that you latch onto the nearest flat surface and "take it like the Boner you know you've always been?"
Ergo, henceforth and Holy Home Invasion, Batman! These people need to be dealt with. And, of course, we need to make them think we're doing something FOR them, in the process. On the Presidential side, hey...let 'em get in behind Ron Paul. He's a wackadoo...always has been. We've ignored his drivel for decades. Promised him everything, and gave him...ah, what did we give him. Oh, yeah...NOTHING!
Great plan, "old-Liners". However...the guys you were worried about. The "new-old republicans". The guys you all thought you were going to palm off on Ron Paul so that they could keep each other busy while you were getting YOUR GUY in the top spot AND keeping your new lead undies skin-tight forever more?
Pssst...Ron ain't their guy. Rand might be their guy...in 2016. Hell, Rand might even be Ron's guy, too. And...Ron at age seventyhundred, might not be doing anything more than just keeping his coast-to-coast Sleeper Cell in place FOR RAND to blink twice during an appearance on Meet The Press in early 2015.
Either way...now you "old-liners" REALLY need YOUR GUY in the White House, NOW! You win with your guy now, you're likely safe until at least 2020...which will, of course, give you that much longer to get Rand drunked up and take some pitchers of him on a field trip to Concord, Kentucky cozyin' up to some pretty little heffers. No, really...I don't mean the Urban Dictionary meaning. I mean real honest to goodness BOVINES.
Pssst...Yes, it's gonna take something like that to lose Rand, and his peeps. They're a very loyal bunch.
In case the rest of the world is wondering why the old-liners are NOT doing what Ron Brown (God rest his soul) and the DNC did in 1992, when THEY had a gaggle of D's standing in the way of their plan to use Bill Clinton to break up the Solid South...which had been made even more solid by Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan, Ronald Reagan...the answer is...
...the old-line establishment republicans have just been placed on the endangered species list.
In 1992, once it was determined that Tom Harken, Bob Kerrey and the rest HAD to go away...the only person left to deal with...was GOVERNOR MOONBEAM, a.k.a., The Ghost OF RON PAUL PAST. The difference IS, in 1992, the world, and the nation hadn't changed to a point where ANY of Jerry Brown's "crazy ideas"...:LIKE ELIMINATING THE IRS, AND THE TAX CODE, AND USING A POST CARD AS YOUR TAX RETURN...could have been accepted...BY ANYBODY.
WOW...20 years later, and everyone from Rick Dubyah Perry to Mitt of the Magic Undies, IS SINGING THE SAME TOON.
I guess the old-liners weren't counting on THAT, now were they? OR, anyone REMEMBERING that one of the cornerstones of their 2012 REPUBLICAN CAMPAIGN for President...originated with GOVERNOR MOONBEAM??
Jeb didn't get in the race because, well...Dubyah blew his opportunity out of the water at least until two entire generations of 'Mercans are dead.
Chris Chunky Monkey Christie couldn't lose 300 L---BEEES, even on Jenny (and not in the time it would take to legitimize him as a viable candidate. Though, being a Jersey Boy, he'd have sold out for a lot less than Mitt, bought a third house at the shore...and ballooned up to seven hundred sixty- FOUR pounds. The rest of the good ol' boys 1) would like a LITTLE bit of distance between McCain-Palin and their own campaigns, 2) They also realize that as bad as things are now...they WILL get worse, regardless of who drives the train...and hey, when does this country REALLY swing its pendulum with the strength of two-fifths of a man?
AFTER the caca has impacted the spinning blades...of course.
So...what's either another four years of Obama, OR, four years of "Anybody but THEM"? Ergo, henceforth and DAMN THAT SARAH PALIN..."I'll jes sit this one out".
So...who then? Who do we get...that we really don't either like, or care about...but who won't stand in the way of anything we REALLY WANT to do, by muckin' up the works with shit that we only pretend to care about?
NEWT, NEWT, HE'S OUR WHORE...IF HE CAN'T DO IT...
Oh, SHIT! Newt CAN'T DO IT. He was a really big whore, BEFORE WE NEEDED HIM. DAMN!
Rick Sanatarium? (Nuts, AND a zealot. He's out.)
Rick Dubyah Perry? (Nuts, and in the words of the Real Dubyah's Brain..."an idiot". Oh, AND a PRETEND ZEALOT. He's out).
Michele Bachmann (Nuts, Zealot, Nuts, Nuts. Nuts, an idiot AND a nutty zealot. PS...SHE'S MARRIED TO A MAN-WIFE. man(?) wife(?). She's WAY OUT).
Jon Huntsman (Worked for Obama. Don't think even the Masters of the Midway can sell that bi-partisan cooperative shit to the good folk down in Mobile. He's out.)
Herman Cain? (He's not completely nuts...BUT, he is an idiot, AND could whip the living dogshit out of Bill Clinton at "PhilanderFest 2013". He's out.)
Sarah Palin? (She's out. Burn me once, shame on...no, burn me twice, shame on you. AWWW, WHERE THE HELL IS DUBYAH WHEN YOU NEED HIM?)
Now...as absolutely NUTS as it truly is...Sarah Palin may have cost the republicans the 2008 election, and whether she WON the 2012 election, or cost them one more...she would have single handedly contained, if not neutered The Ron Paul issue. Sarah Palin wouldn't have gotten Ron Paul out of the race, BUT...she would have taken enough of the Teabagger support that he still has, to have made the threat of a viable 3rd party run significantly less credible than it is at the present time. When the old-liners torqued off the old-new republicans during the budget fiasco...and the old-new republicans realized that they really weren't ever going to get anything from the speaker that didn't feel like his nickname sounds...they flocked en mass, to Sinai Sarah. When She flaked again...and even the Teabaggers were able to draw those same conclusions about the rest of the announced pack. Ol' Ronnie tossed his Cialis in the executive washroom at Chez' Paul.
So...who is left...but THE GUY THE OLD-LINERS PASSED ON, IN FAVOR OF THE GUY THAT THEY THEMSELVES HAD BRANDED AS "INSANE McCAIN"...WHERE (IN SOUTH CAROLINA)...during the Dirty Tricks Chapter of the 2000 Campaign.
Just as an aside...has anyone else figured out that if the old-liners hadn't carpet bombed McCain in 2000, he probably would have given the nominating speech for his VP of then 8 years, in 2008...and the world would never have known EITHER Sarah Palin OR G. Dubyah B.? Also...Rick Dubyah Perry would have had a MUCH easier time pulling off the Yokel Act in either 2008, 12 or 16.
It appears, young grasshopping old-new republicans...that you may end up being too little, too early...if not too late.
Lastly, for tonight...you have "the Evangelicals".
Why has no one forced Tricky Ricky Sanatarium, OR Rick Dubyah, OR even Newt, OUT of South Carolina AND the race? Because to do so this early, would 1) make it glaringly apparent to the entire planet...that all that was left was a flip-flopping, Mormon, lying sack of shit that wont release his tax returns. Oh, yeah...who also supports civil unions, some abortions, wrote the healthcare law that supposedly everyone hates, etc., etc., etc., ad infinitum.
And, THAT would either drive more than just the rest of the wack jobs to Ron Paul, OR prime the pump for a 3rd, 4th or 5th party run, AND do the worst thing that a gaggle of career powermongers can do to themselves...
...reveal who really is behind the curtain AND establish that they are, in fact...
HEY, somebody...call Ken Starr and have him write an Op-Ed saying it's "OK" to vote for a Mormon!
Make no mistake, my friends. Mitt has sold his soul...AGAIN. The deal IS in place, to the extent that the old-liners have the power to keep it in place. They will let Newt and his cadre of fellow "Hoes" hang in for as loooooong as they want...in order to divide up the Evangelical vote, let Mitt put together what they can sell as an insurmountable delegate total to anyone that might be thinking about trying to gum up the works. They'll get a REAL VP to ride herd on The Mittster. And, IF the President throws up on his shoes between now and November, Mitt will do the minimum bidding required to honor his commitment to the old-liners. He will get to do some things that will have them pretending to roll their eyes. And, we will rinse and repeat the process in four years, IF the Cheney-esque cast that is put in place to surround President Romney, doesn't blow up the planet by lobbing cruise missiles where they don't need to be lobbed.
OH...and guess what ELSE the old-liners didn't count on?
President Obama killing terrorists, invading countries, and assassinating Iranian nuclear scientists while ex-Maqrine CIA Operatives are on a Tehrahnian death row.
THOSE PEACE FREAKS WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY HOME IN NOVEMBER 2012.
Instead...they are already re-registering, or crossing over in open primaries....to vote for Ron Paul.
Oh Mitt...MITT...MITT! How much SHIT did you say you had to have so that we can keep our Boner in the Speaker's Chair?
TOMORROW: South Carolina...and much, much more.