Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Trending Now: Barry Goldwater?

Now that even the immortal Chuck Todd is talking about the relative similarities between significant elements of the political climate existing in both 1980 and 2012...as a means to both explain the re-emergence of The Fat Lizard, and as a governmentally mandated warning that statements made by the Disgraced Former Speaker contain absolutely nothing remotely resembling "truth"...all of which I wrote on extensively when Newtie was polling below Michele Bachmann, I would like to extend without revising my remarks.

It doesn't take Norv Turner to recognize a great team that just doesn't know how to win. And, this crop of candidates will never be confused with a great team. That being aside...someone does have to win this games of Musical Frontrunners...whether they really want to, or not.

Monday Night's debate, and more importantly, the post-event recap, made it abundantly clear to me that the media...which should want the race to go on as long as possible...are at a point where they haven't met a one-state primary winner they didn't want to hand the nomination over to.

"Newt didn't let Romney get under his skin". "Newt appeared very Presidential". "Newt didn't take the bait when Romney came after him". "He was certainly thinking General, as opposed to Primary...working his was to the Middle like that".

And, none of the expert commentators offering these summaries were bothered by the fact that IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING the suggestion that Newt was "playing to the Middle"...the very same person pointed out Newt had been in something of a "love fest with Ron Paul, all evening".

Last time I checked...Ron Paul was still the only real voice of reason the 2012 campaign has ever known...but, is far, far, FAR from "the Middle" of anything.

In the end however, it wasn't what the experts said that bothered me. It was what they didn't say.

In the same way in which more Iowans voted for Gary Johnson than have any idea who Saul Alinsky was...I'm fairly confident that the turnover in LIVE BODIES has been sufficient in the preceding five decades, that better than fifty percent of those voting in 48 OF THE 50 STATES will be Wiki-ing the beJesus out of Barry Goldwater after Newt's closing remarks...which began with his insistence that he was the true conservative in the race because he had a meeting with Barry Goldwater in 1964. And then, of course he claimed responsibility for single-handedly electing Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan...using the former president's name, the obligatory THREE TIMES IN THE SAME SENTENCE.

More on Newt's closing remarks in a moment. For now, however...and because most Americans, even if they have heard of Barry Goldwater before...have NO IDEA of the type and kind of things that came out of his mouth...or that the word "LANDSLIDE"...wasn't even recognized by Funk OR Wagnalls, until "BARRY GOLDWATER" lost  to Lyndon Johnson...BY TWENTY-FIVE PERCENTAGE POINTS...FIFTY YEARS AGO.

Personally...my favorite Barry Goldwater quote is the one where Goldwater said, "I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass." I can't say I disagree with the sentiment. Though I'm somewhat opposed to kicking a man WHEN HE'S DEAD. And, to be completely transparent, Goldwater said this in 1991, when both he and Falwell were both very much alive. But, I choose this as my favorite...and ignore Goldwater quotes suggesting that RIGHT-WING EXTREMISM IS JUSTIFIABLE...OR SUGGESTINGTHAT THE UNITED STATES SHOULD HAVE NUKED VIET NAM...because even a completely, certifiable, psycho-sociopath like Barry Goldwater...knew that even right-wing extremism WAS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT THE FUNDAMENTALIST WING OF THE PARTY HAD IN MIND.

What Barry Goldwater ALSO said...and which Newt would never want you to know, is this...

"Mark my word. If and when these preachers get control of the Republican party, and they're sure trying to do so, it's going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten, me. Politics and government demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can't and won't compromise. I know...I've tried to deal with them".

M' kay the latter quote came after at least some thought the man's remaining live brain cells had "self-deported" themselves to The Great Beyond" And...neither quote accurately reflected the lunacy for which the substantial balance of his public life was noted, and known.

But, if you're  going to use 50 year old references, to illustrate why you are THE "Conservative" in the race today...and you tie your claim to something a guy said about nuking commies in 1964...you SHOULD be required to also indicate...that THE SAME GUY, essentially disavowed virtually all of those psychotic statements...AS HE GOT CLOSER TO THE TIME OF MEETING HIS MAKER!

You might also be REQUIRED TO NOTE that the Falwell comment came because Falwell was opposing the nomination, of Sandra Day O'Connor to the Supreme Court...and that at the time of his death, Barry Goldwater was a self-proclaimed LIBERAL.

NOW...back to Newt's closing remarks. The first rule of being a successful Con Man is...

Never give out any information, which can be verified, and fold your con for you.

Forget that Newt was 21 at the time of this alleged meeting with Goldwater that framed him as a true conservative. The only important thing today is that anybody OTHER THAN NEWT who might remember the meeting...IS DEAD.

Forget that Newt single-handedly elected Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan.

He didn't.

In fact...in 1968...while Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan was running for president for the first time...

Newt Gingrich served as THE SOUTHERN REGIONAL COORDINATOR...FOR THE VERY LIBERAL, NELSON ROCKEFELLER...

CAMPAIGNING AGAINST RONALD REAGAN.

So, why would the man who "helped Ronald Reagan become governor of California...and was solely responsible for electing Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan president...and who traces his conservative roots back to Barry Goldwater"...serve as Southern Regional Director FOR THE LIBERAL...NELSON ROCKEFELLER...in 1968...WORKING AGAINST RONALD REAGAN?

Ah...we don't know. And...nobody asked Newt to explain himself.
And...even if someone did...EVERYONE WHO COULD OFFER. A TRUTHFUL RESPONSE...OTHER THAN NEWT...

...IS DEAD, OR EATING STAINED PEAS AND  ON VISITING DAY, REFERRING TO KARL ROVE AS "WARREN G. HARDING".

Alright...I reaffirm my belief that Newt is PURE EVIL. I further acknowledge that Newt is an accomplished Con Man of the highest order. I accept that the remaining candidates in the first wave (Ron Paul, excepted) have thrown up on their shoes, stepped on their penis, if they had one, paid too much or not enough attention to Newt, not checked his facts...or otherwise given the media reason to elevate him...and not given voters enough information to bury him.

They have also given Newt the unchecked ability to make use of the second rule of being a great Con Man, in each, of the last two debates.

When your Mark is onto  you...ot thinks they are...spit in your hand, rub it in their face, and then say anything, preferably something that will put them on the defensive. Newt has played this card three times in two debates...and effectively, I might add.

With 77 Twitter Followers, and about 150 Facebook Friends...someone else is going to have to force Newt into a position for which he has no defense.

However...if anyone with a bigger fan base, would like a little help in blasting The Fat lizard a new strategic exit...I'm happy to assist, very coachable...and I'm not cost  prohibitive.

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