Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Forgive Them Father, For They Know Not What They Do

In a way, I hate to write about Rick Santorum on back-to-back days.

However, there hasn't been as much religion injected into an election of any type or kind, since Pope Clement IV died in 1268... And, it took the College of Cardinals over three years to elect Pope Gregory X.

During that electoral process three Cardinals died, one resigned...and in the end, only the most feared occurrence in modern day republican politics...a "Brokered Convention," put an end to three years, of Delegates (Cardinals) being locked in the Palazzo dei Papi di Viterbo, where they had existed the entire time on no more than bread, water and bushels of already sucked corn cobs.

If you don't know what the cobs were for...GO ASK SOMEONE ELSE. I won't tell. And, you can't nmake me.

The point is...while there have been a severly limited number of elections where God either had a horse in the race or a hand in the outcome...

...NONE OF THOSE ELECTIONS were for the purpose of selecting a President of The Untied States of America.

Now however...where the Evangelical Christian Movement is one of The Three Faces of Abe...republicans from coast-to-coast and in Guam, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and yes, even Puerto Rico and Washington, DC., are at least as concerned...if not more concerned about a candidate's religion, than where he stands on guns, gays and global warning.

On the republican side of the equation, two pretend Catholics split the bulk of the God vote, at present...with some lesser portion being siphoned off by the Mormon (Danger, Will Robinson)...while the only real member of an organized Protestant Religion can't even find out if there's an opening for a Soprano in the Gospel Choir.

All of this despite the fact that Newt Gingrich is on his THIRD WIFE and second religion...ALL FIVE of which were chosen in order to give Newt what at least he felt were a series of steps-up, which at least he felt made him a slihhtly more charismatic version of The  Pied Piper.

When quizzed about his 27 Volume "Journal of Personal and Professional Failings," Newt talks about being a "Flawed Hero". Most of the rest of the nation has taken to simply calling him a douchebag, The Fat Lizard, or "that guy who kept taking his pants off in the reality television show, "Reptiles Gone Wild".

Gov. Mormon never misses a chance to take reporters' questions on his but...then only ever answers even the simplest of questions by indicating that he needs to go into far greater detail on such an excellent question...and will have to have a member of his staff get back to them  once he has read and approved of the specific content of the response.

Rick Santorum is getting the )lion's share of the Evangelical Wing of the republican party...notwithstanding the fact that the most prominent and more nationally recognized Protestant Ministers have near universally referred to the Catholic Church as a cult, or worse...at one time or another.

To Ron Paul's credit, and without suggesting he actually could have gotten the endorsement of any such organization...Paul is the only republican candidate whose message stays the same whether he's talking to shoe salesmen, freelance goat ropers, or an Ecumenical Prayer Breakfast.

Alright, I get part of it. Politicians running for national office have to pander to every religious group to be successful or have even a prayer (pun intended) of success. And, since they seriously need to be...alot like everyone else...it really doesn't matter what time or day it is when you stop being yourself.

Romney gets hammered for at one point having at least moderate views on abortion and gay marriage. Rick Santorum even reminded the voters watching most of the debates, that HE was "the only candidate on stage" whose opinions on abortion had never changed. He was even willing to back it all up with materials from previous campaigns.

The bad news for Tricky Ricky...was that other people had some of those position papers, too. And, those people couldn't wait to reveal that The Trickster's earlier positions...were even more moderate than Mitt Romney.

Of course, Santorum can explain it away...just like Romney did. Just like  Gingrich did...and completely unlike how Ron Paul will never be called upon to finess his way out of that kind of trouble.

Romney and Gingrich also had to explain their past or present positions on gay marriage and civil unions...none of which jive with Evangelical philosophy...but still need to be good enough to lop off a few percentage points which Santorum's dying daughter managed to snag in the form of the full scale endorsement of Dr. James Dobson, andhis collection of spiritual legends in their own minds.

The one difference between Santorum  and the rest however is as simple as it is disgusting.

Santorum just won't quit.

Romney and Gingrich don't invite or encourage the God questions. You can even see either of those well-schooled and well-rehearsed egomaniacs become visibly anxious
as they attempt to redirect the inquiry...by serving up an answer to a question never asked.

And, while Romney and Gingrich initiate their own personal version of dodgeball...Santorum has finished yet again declaring his status as husband, father and spiritual "Man of the Year...and is now reciting his stance on contraception devices, stem cells, pre-natal care...and of course, public education from kindergarten to graduate school.

This is just about the time when republican leaders everywhere look at each other during a video conference call, shake their heads, throw a dart at a Romney photo on the back of their office doors, and just pray...that Santorum doesn't soon get HIS chance play the role of Sarah Palin, anytime in the foreseeable future.

Yes, I completely understand that the seeking of the Presidency is a sickness which has driven at least a couple hundred people to have risked all, spent all, abandoned family, friends, careers, and other people, places and things of greater actual or sentimental value than the than $400,000 salary which comes with the office.

Yes, I get fact that March 5, 2012 will be the last time that even Santorum himself, will be able  to even fantasize about "what might have been".

And, while we as a nation are controlled to a particilarly overwhelming degree by deranged demagogues like Rick Santorum...who BELIEVES GOD SPOKE TO HIM... voice to voice, and said, "Ricky...you're my guy"...

...the same living God who has a plan for our lives, and who wants this nation to be singled out among all others...FOR GREATNESS...WOULD THEN GIVE HIS PERFECT PLAN...TO RICK SANTORUM TO CARRY OUT??

There is an irony I had been unable to effectively resolve for decades. Our God has won every Super Bowl,  National Finals Rodeo Event, and People's Choice Award for best film produced in a language which absolutely NO ONE in ANY theatre had understood  so much as a single word.

I know this because every quarterback, bullrider and Fellini wannabe has told me exactly that as soon as the first microphone was shoved in their face.

I guess what I don't get...is why "The King of Lies" (Satan...would spend his every waking hour trying to bring down the Untied States of America.

During a previous campaign for public office, Santorum said:

"This is a spiritual war. And, the Father of Lies has his sights on what you would think the Father of Lies would have his sights on; a good, decent, powerful and influential country...the Untied States of America. If you were Satan, who would you attack in this day and age."

C'mon, Rick. The King of Lies?? He's  still trying to  use the USA as the first domino on the way to WORLD DOMINATION?

CHILL OUT...ALL OF YOU RIGHT,WING Hacks!

Satan wasn't here looking to bring b us down when Tricky Ricky ran into him.  He was just trying to get a re-fi without any docs (from Countrywide)...and looking to bundle as many credit default swaps as  possible. I understand he already had a buyer, too.

Some dumbass former Senator from Pennsylvania who had actually sold  his own soul to the King on the day the clown was first elected to Congress...and didn't read the fine print.

THAT would certainly explain why  Ricky's hair and eyes are brown, he's got a greatg tanand his breath always smells like shit.

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