Monday, February 13, 2012

More Than The Numbers Don't Add Up...

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Once again, I admit...I'm not the smartest guy in the world.

I don't always "get" everything some people say, no matter how intent I might listen.

I always presume that I'm the source of any confusion...whether I'm giving directions to Knotts Berry Farm; or taking in the Cliff's Notes version of my wacky brother's Doctoral Dissertation on..."The Meaning of Life".

Then...I see, hear or read something from Sarah Palin.

Almost immediately, I feel like I should pen an award-winning essay on the benefits of public education. I then become completely convinced that I could deliver the keynote address on the topic of Relativity, at the Annual Einstein Convention...taking questions, as well.

And of course, during  the time I'm caused to endure ANY Palin Commentary...I'm finally able to explain the existence of the "Frog in the Blender" look I'm wearing...and KNOW that if she talks for more than another ten minutes...I WILL figure out how to close the door of the microwave...WITH my head inside, and at least one hand free to hit "Start".

So...don't hate Sarah Palin. She actually does inspire some of us, and really CAN bring out the best in you.

Having said that...what the Hell happened to The Former Mrs. Almost Glen Rice...between Saturday Night and Sunday Morning?

Ya see...On Saturday, the C-POOPER PACKERS, bypassed every noted conservative who hadn't been deprived of oxygen at birth in favor of hiring the handicapped and having Sarah "Jungle Fever" Palin deliver the organization's Keynote Address to close their 3-Day Symposium on "Hated, Horror & Hostility".

And, on that night..."Party Girl" said that Mitt was a great candidate, who had plenty of time to get his message across and explain the path he had taken to arrive at "Conservativism". 

Moments later the Leader of the Wing Nut Wing of the republican party announced that as between a guy who bombs Iran every night in his dreams, a guy who wants to govern the nation using only THE CONSTITUTION as the basis for all action, a guy who stated that gay marriage leads to "MAN ON DOG SEX...and the guy who wrote the blueprint for the Obama Healthcare Plan...that he and his Wing Nuts were going to hitch their Winnebago full of Bullshit to Mitt's Magical Mystery Tour Bandwagon...seemingly WITH the at least tacit endorsement of the NBA's Favorite MILF.

Then...it was Sunday morning. And, it didn't take more than about a half dozen words and twenty-seven seconds for me to be reminded why the American Psychiatric Association BEGGED President Obama to order Seal Team 6 to make unannounced visits to the homes of anyone who ever attended an event on the Sarah Palin Traveling Rodeo, Pole Show & Greyhound Bus Tour.

NOW...ya see...the faithful wife of Todd "Don't Call Me Glen, Dude" Palin...was telling the  dedicated Faux News viewers that  THE GUY WHO WAS JUST ENDORSED BY THE CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE...ISN'T A CONSERVATIVE AT ALL!

So much for her previous suggestion that Mitt had plenty of time to "esplain his-seff".

NOW...Sarah "70% Cocoa" Palin was referring to the President's healthcare plan as "O'Romneycare...and indicated that Mitt can't break the 30% approval number, nationwide...because, "WE AREN'T CONVINCED!"

At this point...I don't know who, or what to believe out of these republicans. Self-proclaimed "conservatives" endorse "The Massachusettes Moderate" who wears Magic Underwear, baptizes  Dead People & taught his kids that Jesus is NOT the Messiah and IS the Brother of Satan.

Iowa republican leaders put out bogus vote totals...to have Romney appear as their caucus winner, in support of ending the race before it begins. They then get outed...resign...and the win goes to Santorum.

Nevada republican officials are accused by at least two campaigns...of fudging vote totals in support of Romney, in order to stop the further swelling of Newt's Fat Head following a win in South Carolina and the infusion of new Shelly Money.

Nevada officials have yet to be outed, or resign...but hey...the campaign is still young. Just ask "Cocoa".

Maine republican officials CANCEL one of only 16 County Caucuses...ON THE DAY OF THE EVENT...IN A COUNTY EXPECTED TO GO STRONG FOR RON PAUL. Paul later loses by only 194 votes. Both Paul AND Santorum claim that numbers were fudged for Romney...with Santorum going so far as to OPENLY STATE THAT ROMNEY "BOUGHT THE ELECTION".

Maine officials have yet to eitherbe outed, or resign...BUT...at this point, I have one more question for "Precious Palin".

Since the longer this goes on...the more ENTIRE REPUBLICAN STATE ORGANIZATIONS ARE HAVING THEIR VERY LEGITIMACY CALLED INTO QUESTION...

...by other republicans...

...is it STILL "a good thing" that this  process continue "...all the way to Tampa"?

How many disgraced state party organizations resigning for committing fraud in support of a conservative who isn't a conservative, does it take to call the legitimacy of your entire nominating process into question?

How many candidates can Sarah and her "Coat of Many Colors" endorse, then not really endorse...then clarify herself by scorching the candidate she sort of endorsed...before people stop giving her money for things that come OUT of her mouth?

Why won't Newt give it up?

When WILL Ron Paul give both the wink AND the nod to the guys waiting to begin production of the "REAL" Ron Paul 2012 Campaign paraphernalia?

When will Chris Christy ACTUALLY, physically explode (or, not be allowed to travel by air OR land, for fear of tilting the earth's axis and triggering tsunami warnings from Red Bank to Wildwood Crest)?

Will Jeb formally indicate his willingness to be "drafted"...BEFORE the Convention? And, if so...how many more republican state committees being caught cheating for Romney will it take to get him into the race?

What the HELL are all of us going to do for the next two weeks while we wait for Arizona and Michigan republican party officials to attempt to get their stories straight IN ADVANCE of their respective state nominating events?

And lastly...WHY WON'T CNN LET BUDDY ROEMER DEBATE, NOW?

The network wants to use a 7% minimum support standard, NOW. Yet, they let Jon Huntsman participate IN EVERY DEBATE THEY CONDUCTED...when Huntsman was polling AT LESS THAN TWO PERCENT!

Like I said...a lot more than just the numbers...doesn't add up.

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