Monday, February 6, 2012

What ARE the Odds?

Look, I know this was Super Bowl Weekend. But, now that "The Game" is over and real world news events can get back to some combination of "Page 6" and the rapidly advancing in popularity Internet News Source that many are coming to know and love as "Thoughts at 3 A.M."...I have to ask the burning question:

"Am I the only person not affiliated with the Ron Paul Campaign, who thinks that there is at least SOMETHING wrong with the fact that TWO DAYS after the close of the Nevada Caucuses...there isn't even an Unofficial Official "You don't have to totally buy into it because you know we republicans really never have Official totals (just ask Iowa)" total of votes yet?

Let me preface my soon to be suggested answer to this question by asking for readers, even the many republicans who stop in multiple times per acknowledge that even though we are talking about "counting and reporting problems" in Nevada as a whole...we really are talking about "counting and reporting problems" IN LAS VEGAS.

LAS VEGAS! The place where the results of a Junior Varsity Pocketball Competition IN SRI LANKA are reported, and payouts computed before the Winning Team changes their boxer shorts. Or, is it the Losing Team? Either way...the point is, this isn't Iowa, where corn cob pencils and matchbook covers are used to tally up votes by four 90 year old guys in bib overalls who are all named "Clem".

This is VEGAS, BABY! This is where High School Dropouts in cash cages can count to 56 Quadrazillion...without even taking their shoes off.

But for SOME REASON...Nevada republicans can't find ONE PhD who can count to 40,000 with a 50 function calculator and an entire iWarehouse full of Books, Pads, Pods, Phones, and experimental crap that those "i" people still have on the drawing board.

And, before you hoity-toity Vegas, Baby types point out that it took "Ioway" sixteen days to get "Official," let me nip that little argument right in the bud. Clem, Clem, Clem and Clem at least gave us a series of incorrect totals on the night of their caucus...and the day after. Their problem stemmed in largest part that they "misplaced" ENTIRE RESULTS from eight precincts.

Sure...I can here your baccarat-based brains shattering the sound barrier again. "But...the Brothers Clem were stupider than US. We at least didn't actually think that no one showed up at eight precincts."

No, that's boys and girls didn't just enter "zeros" in eight precincts. You apparently just hadn't been told how many votes that Mr. Romney was supposed to have when you finished your count the first time. Republicans constantly bitch about the cheating that goes on in elections held in places like Chicago and Philadelphia. But, at least in those locations, Precinct Captains are told THE NIGHT BEFORE THE ELECTION, what the vote totals are supposed to be. This way...when the polls close and the totals are reported, IT AT LEAST LOOKS LIKE it was a fair election. (Oh, and don't forget that "the Clems" had MORE THAN THREE TIMES THE NUMBER OF VOTES TO COUNT as you had in Nevada.)

I would say that Nevada republicans need to take lessons from big city political machines, but for them, it shouldn't even be that hard. Again, I have to ask the question...With all of the Billionaires in Las Vegas, including Sheldon Adelson, could NOT ONE OF THEM have loaned their tax accountant to the republican party for A COUPLE OF FUCKING HOURS?

Come to think of it...maybe that's how the problem occurred. Maybe you should take a page out of the Mitt Romney book, Shelly? How about we get a look at YOUR tax returns? I'm guessing that your tax accountants are a little more capable than the geniuses still counting ballots at the Adelson Center.

How many ballots did each one of those Seventh Day Adventists and Orthodox Jews (for whom the "Special Caucuses"were held) have, anyway?

Call me crazy...but, if you laid odds on the republican caucuses and allowed wagering on the outcome...those results would have been in before Rick Santorum had a chance to change HIS boxer shorts.

So far...we've had Five "Completed republican presidential events (not including Maine). South Carolina republicans acknowledged that at least 900 DEAD PEOPLE voted.

Iowa reported so many sets of results over a sixteen day period that the Chairman of the Iowa Republican Party resigned his position. Rumor has it that he's also already consumed enough fried butter to kill each and every one of the voters in the eight precincts the Clem Boys failed to originally count.

Nevada...hey, nobody knows what the Hell went on there. Apparently, even what Seventh Day Adventists and Orthodox Jews do in Vegas...also STAYS IN VEGAS!

What is clear to me form all of this, is that the RNC really has determined that legitimately or otherwise, Mitt Romney will be the republican to get defeated by President Obama in November. And, for the life of me...not only do I not know why...but, THIS one is absolutely going down in the record books as the greatest end of season CHOKE by a team ticketed for stardom, since the 1964 Philadelphia Phillies collapsed in up to this point, the greatest September Swoon of all time.

Until a couple of months ago, the Obama Family was on the verge of its own internal collapse. Barack couldn't even get up from the dinner table without one of his three ladies starting the "Dead Man Walking" chant.

Now...Michele has already told the school that her daughters will IN FACT...not be leaving in December.

I'm going to write more on this tomorrow, but...forgetting about the rash of what many are calling Romney Gaffes, and which I believe are more simply Romney Admissions...the bottom-line for my hardcore republican friends, should be these facts.

In Iowa...Mitt Romney got roughly the same number of votes in 2012 as he did in 2008. In 2008, Mitt Romney lost the South Carolina Primary...just as he did in 2012. In 2008, Mitt Romney drew OVER 50% of the Nevada Caucus vote, in a much larger field of candidates. Every time he opens his mouth...he loses more of whatever National Gallup Poll advantage he once had over the President. He STILL hasn't won 50% of ANY Primary or Caucus...and while he MAY, IN NEVADA, a year from now, when the votes are finally counted...that would mean he won 50% of the 40,000 or less Nevada republicans who decided to show a state where over 1.2 MILLION republicans COULD have come out for him.

So...Was there something in the closet of the new RNC Chairman that only Mitt Romney has gained knowledge Jeb just a little bit more on the ball than any of us have given him credit for at this point?

Either way...with the exception of winning Florida, Mitt Romney has done absolutely NOTHING in 2012, that he didn't already do in 2008, when he won New Hampshire and Nevada, and lost Iowa and South Carolina. I guess the key point here is...he also lost the nomination to John McCain in 2008, too.

And about Florida, you ask?

Well...let's just say that if I'm thinking Jeb is smarter than he looks...I also have to think that Jeb is smart enough to understand that had Newt steamrolled from South Carolina to Florida with back-to-back ass-kickings of The Mighty Mitt...the race might REALLY have been "already over"...and Jeb would have been perhaps sunning himself until 2020.

THANK YOU, to all of those who have taken a moment to click on an ad at this Blog. It honestly does not cost you anything, Google can afford to pay far more than they are for the 3000 to 5000 page views we are getting each day, and most importantly, it keeps something other than Wal-Mart's house brand of dog food in the Puppy bowl. (He thanks you, too.) I know we've been taking a few Saturdays off recently, Greece and the European Union continue their collective financial implosion, Syria is set upon by who knows who, the US and Israel initiate the lobbing of cruise missiles into Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan further mire into their civil wars and...republicans in Congress make good on their threat to make American Homeowners drown with their homes...somehow thinking that this will make it easier for either Mitt or Jeb to win the White House...there won't be any weekends off for the skeleton crew here at "Thoughts".

So...give us an ad click, or two. We'll keep you laughing through the tears, as we bring you the we see it.

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