Newt Gingrich spent much of this past week in California trying to raise money. On one evening, Newt and potential campaign contributors slept overnight at The San Diego Zoo's very popular "Sounds of the Jungle" Tour...where you get to camp out in the zoo so you can hear (and see) what happens at night.
You would have to say the results of the outing were "mixed" at best, however. Yes, Newt did get to feed a a Giant Panda and raise a small boat load of campaign cash.
On the downside...one of the Zookeepers apparently mistook the candidate for "Saint George"...the Zoo's world famous Komodo Dragon...and accidentally "darted" The Fat Lizard, as he attempted to leave the park in the morning.
On an even sadder note...when park officials were ultimately unable to locate one of the Zoo's newborn Dingos...the Caretaker of the Dingo exhibit was forced to explain the disappearance and attempt to console the young mother by suggesting, "I fink da Lizard ate your Baby".
The overnight program has since been suspended indefinitely...with all future political fundraising activities cancelled, outright.
While some Maine republican officials are calling for the State Party Chairman to resign over the recent "Caucus Interruptus" debacle...the embattled and embittered Chairman issued A SECOND DECLARATION that Mitt Romney won the weekend Caucus...by an even larger margin...even though he was AGAIN forced to subsequently acknowledge that the vote totals OF ENTIRE TOWNS IN MULTIPLE COUNTIES...HAVE YET TO BE COUNTED.
The White House predicted on Friday that the balance of 2012 would see the nation generate EXACTLY...2 Million Additional New Jobs.
This prediction of course...brought to you by THE SAME PEOPLE WHOSE UNEMPLOYMENT NUMBERS, GDP, MONTHLY JOBLESS CLAIMS...AND EVEN MONTHLY "JOBS CREATED" NUMBERS...are routinely "adjusted" up, down, and even sideways THIRTY-FIVE TIMES...TO CREATE POSITIVE STOCK MARKET REACTIONS...BEFORE THE SAME PEOPLED WHO MADE THIS PREDICTION...ALWAYS ANNOUNCE THAT NONE OF THERE "PREDICTIONS" SHOULD BE MISTAKEN FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN, "Happy Horseshit".
Billionaire Sheldon Adelson, hands over A THIRD BLOCK OF ANOTHER TEN MILLION DOLLARS ($30M IN ALL) to Newt Gingrich. The man cuts full time jobs, to part time jobs at his business...to avoid having to pay health care and other benefits to people making MINIMUM FUCKING WAGE...AND HANDS A GUY WITH NO BETTER CHANCE THAN I have of becoming President...THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS TO PISS RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN!
Sarah Palin...costs John McCain the only real chance at the presidency that he ever had...quits her job as the elected Chief Executive of a State...whores herself out to every media outlet willing to cut her a check, seduces a then up and coming NBA superstar because...AS THE PLAYER PUT IT..."SARAH AND HER SISTER HAD A THING FOR BLACK GUYS"...stands in the pulpit of churches and tells entire congregations that GOD ROUTINELY CALLED HER (no doubt disguising his voice as that of an NBA PLAYER) and told her to run for political offices...SAID ONLY FIVE MONTHS AGO THAT SHE HAD NO INTEREST IN RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT...IS STILL THE ABSOLUTE LAUGHING STOCK OF ANY AND EVERY POLITICAL PARTY...and TODAY, can't shut up about how ready willing and able she is to SKIP THE PRIMARY PROCESS...BUT STEP IN AND ACCEPT THE REPUBLICAN NOMINATION AT AN OPEN CONVENTION.
Rick Santorum is opposed to public education, thinks COLLEGE is not only "NOT FOR EVERYONE," but also thinks the "primary purpose" served by colleges is to "INDOCTRINATE THE YOUNG"...thinks that "ALL PEOPLE SHOULD PAY 100% OF THEIR OWN MEDICAL EXPENSES"...TROTS HIS DYING DAUGHTER OUT ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL WHENEVER HE NEEDS A SYMPATHY BOOST...GAVE AN INTERVIEW WHERE HE SAID THAT, ON LEARNING OF HER ILLNESS, HAD FIRST DECIDED "TO HATE HER"...IN ORDER TO MAKE HER DEATH "EASIER ON HIM"...and REPEATEDLY suggests that for all of these reasons...GOD CALLED HIM TO DIRECT THE FUTURE COURSE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
Ron Paul has more of a plan for the success of this country than any republican...and can't win a primary. Dennis Kucinich may be the most knowledgeable member of the House...and is being re-districted out of a job...while Little Johnny Boner will be puffing on Kool's and crying in the Speaker's Chair for the next hundred years.
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