Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Didn't You Hear Those Banjos? Run, Romney, Run!

Just when you thought that it was safe to go back into the cotton field again...

The Mighty Mittster done went and got hisseff interdoosed to da bidness end of a bailer.

That would be the very rectangular looking and obviously Mormon gentleman, with the wire wrapped around him...that them two boys is liftin' up into that truck...over yonder.

NOTE TO MITT:

The next time someone opens a question to you, with the words, "You ain't from 'round here now, are ya?

...The proper response on your part is, "Ah...excuse me a moment, will you? I think I hear my hopes and dreams being placed in a shallow grave on the outskirts of town. I'll...be right back."

Then...you run like hell to ANY state where "reasonably proper English" is the first language of the locals...and stop pretending that "grits" are anything other than what made you piss your pants laughing when Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei introduced you to them in a scene from, "My Cousin, Vinny".

Ya know...some of the worst things that can happen in a political campaign, happen one right after the other...when the candidate starts actually believing his own spin. And...when this does begin to happen, the one and only way to deal with it is for YOU, the candidate...to get off by yourself, and start telling yourself the truth.

I like Matt Drudge, as a person...and for a decade, defended him when others questioned  his journalistic integrity. I never "blamed" him for Andrew Breitbart...or, as some referred to Andrew..."Frankendrudge". And trust me...it pains me to acknowledge that anything either Newt, or Tricky Ricky would say, might be true. But, Drudge has been nothing less than another arm of the Romney campaign PR Machine, since Day 1.

Even up to literally, 8:01 PM,, when the polls closed in Alabama and Mississippi...Drudge updated to put Romney at 42% in Mississippi...and came as close to projecting Romney a winner, as would have been possible without actually using the word.

The out that Drudge had...at least at that moment anyway, was that Fox, numerous others, and even Politico, had been running articles and stories all day long, which were legitimate setups to Drudge's punchline. Romney had the Governor endorsing him...Oh, wait...Didn't the Governor of South Carolina ALSO slip on a complimentary pair of the Magic Underwear in advance of the ass-kicking that Romney took in THAT state, too?

I think so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...you can say that the big story was Tricky Ricky pancaking BOTH Romney and The Fat Lizard.

You can say that the big story was exit polls showing SIXTY PERCENT of voters in the two states AGREED that Romney was "Most Electable"...and they STILL fed his ass to...who or whatever it is that eats things left in the forests, swamps and trailer parks which make up the vast majority of them there two states. (So much for math scores, and no child being left behind. It appears that at least a few southern A-dolts might wanna be more concerned about being left behind at this point.)

You could say that the manufactured frontrunner with the printing press and endless supply of black ink and green paper...can't keep calling himself the frontrunner if he keeps cashing a "Show" ticket.

You could even say that the smart thing for both mainstream and downstream media outlets to do would be to stop believing that pimping for Mitt will end the race. Or, better yet...just stop pimping for Romney.

And, you might want to say that Romney should realize that in this day and age...unless the money you are handing out, is AT the polls, TO voters, in the form of small, unmarked, non-sequential bills...the days of buying an election are farther away from the building than Elvis.

In a way, it is unbelievably comforting to see that the uproar over Citizen's United...has turned out to be far less necessary than could earlier have been perceived. I mean, it is completely correct to say that ALL Of Romney's primary wins have been the result of his "indirect" access to working capital. However...the expenditure of those funds, even in states where wins were generated...had at least as much to do with a broad spectrum of other factors which had absolutely nothing to do with funding...as did the funding, itself.

But...having said all of that...no pundit or commentator thus far this evening or morning, has talked about some of the real keys to these two primaries...or how and what they portend to the next few months.

First...In two states where the vote was dominated by white, evangelicals...and even where the majority of THEM felt Romney was most electable...they couldn't bring themselves to pull his cult-like lever. Yes, several cable and internet outlets touched on this...BUT, not from the perspective that it re-establishes the issue of faith as a dominant negative...NOT, as the race moves to Missouri, Maryland and Illinois...but, as the party must legitimately begin to work toward settling on its compromise candidate, when no one shows up at the convention with enough swag to secure a first ballot victory.

Second...It wasn't even finishing third in these states (where he had been projected to WIN BOTH...by the now TOTALLY DISCREDITED "Rasmussen RAG") which should cause the most concern.

What should cause a larger concern for Romney was that he WENT AFTER these two states...especially after Rupert Rasmussen told him he could win...and got told to "talk to the grit"...BY MORE THAN SEVEN OUT OF TEN VOTERS in the combined two states.

Gingrich wants Santorum out so he can go one-on-one with Mitt. Santorum wants Gingrich out so HE can go one-on-one with Mitt.

SHUT UP, GIRLS!

You're the SAME CANDIDATE...with 97.326% of the SAME MESSAGE.

If there were TWELVE OF YOU...you would ALREADY be going one-on-one with Mitt.

The MISTAKE that both Mitt (and the Establishment republicans), as well as the media is making is that in MANY areas of the country which are KEY to a republican victory...the votes for Santorum and Gingrich ARE NOT "Anybody But Romney" votes (as has been written about since this race started.).

THEY ARE the cries of a party that wants to brand itself as just to the "right" of Bashar al-Assad.

Better than 50% of republicans in Alabama and Mississippi primaries indicated in exit polling, that they identified as "Tea Partiers"...and Romney received NEXT TO NONE of those votes.

Still think the "Baggers" are either dead, or a non-factor?

What does it say...when the best educated and most rational of the four republican candidates for president receives FOUR and FIVE PERCENT of the vote in yesterday's primary contests?

What does it say...when THE GUY THE PARTY WANTS...CAN'T GET A THIRD OF THE VOTE...OR EVEN THREE IN TEN?

What does it say...when the combination of a guy THE WORLD KNOWS is batshit crazy...and a guy HIS OWN COLLEAGUES KNOW has brown eyes and bad breath because he IS full of shit...end up with SEVENTY PERCENT SUPPORT?

Catholics fled Santorum in Ohio...because in reality, the Catholic BUSINESS isn't about "faith" nearly as much as it is about BUSINESS...and, because Santorum's view of the spiritual universe is significantly more "Radical Baptist"...than it is Catholic. Most Catholics I've spoken to, some in my own family...think Rick Santorum is "F'd in the head!" On the other hand...committed Evangelicals...WHO THEMSELVES see little difference between Mormons and Catholics...have embraced Santorum, while being unable to cast a vote for someone EVEN THEY DO SEE as "more electable".

I keep saying this...and one day, someone is going to have to acknowledge it.

THERE IS NO REPUBLICAN PARTY!

There is only, "The Three Faces of Abe"...

And, Mitt can spend A TRILLION DOLLARS...but, unless he either hands it out at the polls, or snuffs Newt and puts the balance in the Santorum kids' college fund (which they won't need...because hey...who needs college with a trillion dollars in the bank? What do you think they are...SNOBS?)...Mitt better just hang the shingle back at Bain, and let the dream die a respectable death. (Don't feel TOO bad, Mitt...John McCain couldn't get the nomination this year, either.)

I was the first to write that the NOMINEE is not now in the race. I was the first to suggest that an Open Convention was not just a possibility...but a virtual certainty. And, with Ron Paul dropping faster than Kim Kardashian's "Friday" Panties...and Buddy Roemer gaining traction at AmericansElect.com, watch how soon the Ronulans beat feet to a location where their internet and caucus strategy might still have a chance to keep a mike in front of the Good Doctor for another eight months.

There IS a solution for The Three Faces of Abe.

They actually COULD win in November...or, rather...a reasonable, rational, logical group of individuals even remotely committed to even a FEW of the traditional republican ideological components of any platform put forward by the party since 1856...COULD re-package itself in time to be competitive.

How, you ask?

Sorry...they don't pay me enough to make THAT reveal.

My best advice to Mitt? SPEND THAT TRILLION! The economy could use it.

Best advice to Ron Paul? Don't let Buddy get too far ahead at that other party that already has $30,000,000.00 for you to play with.

Best advice to Santorum and Newtie? Just keep doin' what yer doin'.

Best advice to Barack Obama? Get the "F" out of Afghanistan. Do something to help the MILLIONS of homeowners whose mortgages ARE NOT with Fanniie or Freddie...and TRUST ME...understand this, and understand it WELL!

SIX DOLLAR GAS...WILL BE YOUR UNDOING. (Even in a one-on-one with Tricky Ricky...)

Oh...yeah...I forgot. If Romney finishes third, or even FOURTH in the Missouri Caucuses on Saturday, (even after THE THOROUGHLY DISCREDITED RASMUSSEN RAG POLL predicts another Romney win...) will the Secret Service formally change his Code Name to "Alf Landon"?

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