Yes, it's been forever since your resident observer of all things pertinent, relevant and noteworthy, took a moment to further invade the lofty confines of your personal electronic space. However, as I'm almost prepared to declare a State of Emergency, if not the onset of the End Times themselves...it would be an absolute travesty to permit my own musings, bemusings and interpretations on the going's on in our universe and beyond, to remain unexpressed.
Where to begin...since the last commentary dropped on this blog involved the 2012 presidential primary cycle? Perhaps...the 2016 presidential primary cycle. At least in this go round...contrary to popular thought...there will actually be two legitimate primary election campaigns.
And, as usual, when it comes to anything that I've ever written about Hillary Clinton...I need to add requisite disclaimers which are designed to avoid the combination of hate mall, suggestions that I burn in Hell...and at least one death threat received during the 2007-8 primary campaign. The Good news is...I won't get to Hillary until tomorrow. So, I won't temporarily lose some of my very best friends...at least for another day..
Now, as we say in Show Bidness...
ON WITH THE SHOW!
To begin with, I PROMISE from here on out, to be humble. I PROMISE, to make every conceivable effort to not sound as though I am doing anything other than interpreting the news. I PROMISE to remind my Readers, and myself, that I am no more than a mere Diner at the Great Trough of Life. If your assessment of my interpretation is that I am insightful, and possess an enhanced understanding of our universe...I thank you. If you feel as though I have obviously fallen off of one too many motorized apparatae without protective headgear...feel free to pray for me, or, at least feel sorry for those who are forced to contend with my affliction on an ongoing, albeit involuntary basis.
Having said that...
The Conservative Political Action Conference ended yesterday. As is customary, the Conference concluded with the announcement of the results of a Presidential Straw Poll of all attendees.
And...much like the Iowa Republican Straw Poll taken in 2011...where Michele Bachmann won the kind of solid victory that propelled her to a kick-ass withdrawal speech about two months later...Rand Paul was rewarded with with a landslide victory in the battle to be declared, "The Next Best Plagiarisng Fascist Wannabe Reincarnation of Ronald Reagan Who Has Absolutley No Shot To Beat Even Joe Biden In 2016".
Yes, Friends...the Party that isn't really a Party (because it's actually the same THREE Parties that I wrote about more than four years ago), kicked off its 2016 Failed Presidential Campaign, by handing its collective baton, to Rand Paul.
Rand Paul...the candidate who:
- Fact checks his position statements on Wikipedia.
- Once stated that, if health care is a right...then Doctors are slaves.
- Stated that greed IS good.
- Also stated that all private discrimination should be outside of any governmental control, AND that the only governmental discrimination which should be actionable, is when the government discriminates against someone, FOR EXERCISING THEIR PERSONAL BELIEFS. (As opposed to being discriminated against for being a member of ANY ONE OF THE PROTECTED CLASSES RECOGNIZED BY THE SUPREME COURT.)
- OH...and who can forget the Rand Paul contention that, "Just because a few people on the Supreme Court say something is constitutional, doesn't make it so".
I haven't even touched on Paul's remarks about 911 conspiracies, complete lack of understanding of foreign policy, domestic policy, economic policy, and of course...his irrational fear of Rachel Maddow.
And, why don't I need to get to any of the other 5,256 Reasons Why Rand Paul Can't Be Elected President?
Because...after Paul, the REST of the CPAC Straw Poll Results, in order of finish...look like this:
And last, and not at ALL least...Tim Scott.
Pardon me for the length of this new round of what I will endeavor to make daily postings...but, this subject is one that demands AN initial understanding be achieved.
A full majority (51%) of the voters in this Straw Poll, cast their vote for either Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, or Ben "my middle name isn't a factor since you don't know my first or last names" Carson.
Yes...this IS CPAC. And, yes...during 50+ speeches over the life of the Conference, the Ghost of Ronald Reagan was invoked in excess of NINE HUNDRED TIMES. So, one could expect that the over 85 years of age, caught in a time warp, Solid South, ex-Goldman Sachs Executive, war-mongering, my country right or wrong contingent...might allow "The Wack Factor" to determine their Straw Poll selection.
HOWEVER...there are a few even keener observations to come out of the vote totals at CPAC.
Let's start with the fact that while HypocritesRUs won't ever again elect a President...or even a true Republican Nominee, at least as of today, they still have the ability to prevent a potentially electable Republican from becoming the Nominee of the Party which shall forever now be known as "The Three Faces of Abe".
Now, we can add to the base results, the secure knowledge that the eight minority vote-getters on the list have NO SHOT at the nomination.
You think you have a split in The Three Faces of Abe, NOW? Try getting the Solid South to solidly line up behind Allen West. Forget that the man was even too bizarre for the Congressional District which once elected and then ejected him from the political process. His politics won't change a vote in the big cities...which would be the only motivation to nominate a minority candidate. And, trust me, the card-carrying Klansmen, even in the Florida Panhandle, and neighboring states of Georgia and Alabama would sooner see Michelle Obama succeed her husband, than cast a vote which by definition would suggest that they and their collective twelve teeth are no longer the "master race".
Next, throw out Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, five guys who couldn't get the nomination during any of the last twelve years, the former VP Candidate who ends every P90X workout by thrusting an open, hand in the air and pledging allegiance to Ayn Rand...six names you'll never hear unless you're a guest at their family barbecue...and...you're left with Chris Christie and Scott Walker...BOTH OF WHOM ARE THE TARGETS OF PENDING FEDERAL CORRUPTION PROBES.
Oh...Let's also forget for the moment, that the last three CPAC Straw Poll Winners in what would be contested Republican Presidential Cycles, were Steve Forbes (1998), George "Macaca" Allen (2006), and President "in my own mind" RON Paul (2010).
What is of most interest to me anyway, in terms of the outcome of the CPAC Straw poll, is the 800 Pound Gorilla who didn't get a single vote.
Call me a Master of the Obvious...but, I would bet at least 3/4 of the Farm on the fact that 99% of Republican "Strategists" with any remaining credibility...are already camping out, outside of the gates of the Imperial Palace currently serving as the unofficial campaign headquarters and personal residence of one Jebeneezer Bush. Because ...after all, no matter how much republicans bash the current President for what they claim has progressed into an Imperial Presidency...or how often they utilize the phrase, "not ANOTHER CLINTON"...the truth is in the good ol' US of A...we LOVE the "Devils we Know"...at least as long as they come from a long line of previously ELECTED Devils.
Many Democrats have already declared Hillary their Nominee. And...were Republicans to line up behind Jebeneezer...wouldn't that Just give the Bushies yet another opportunity to exact a little revenge on someone who had previously opened up a can of whoop-ass on Dear Old Dad?
Something tells me that if Saddam Hussein wasn't, oh...I don't know...DEAD...that he might think twice about that nasty little assassination attempt on King George I, that resulted in about 3000 cruise missiles finding their way down his Palatial chimneys.
Just think ...
Assume for a moment that in the words of the late Rodney Dangerfield...I'm "WAY OFF"...and Hillary Clinton IS the 2016 Nominee of the Democratic Party...
How much life would it breathe into the Three Faces of Abe, to be able to have another go at a Clinton, on behalf of YET ANOTHER Bush Legacy, and to somehow elevate the significance of an entire Do-Nothing Dynasty?
It MIGHT just make younger Republicans forget about the fact that "this Reagan Dude" they keep hearing about, was President (and 80 years old) BEFORE THEY WERE BORN.
OF COURSE, I could go on forever. Those who've been reading my posts since 2007 already know that. BUT...for the new kids, let me end with a transitional set up.
In the same way in which I announced in 2011, that religious conservatives would not join Sheldon Adelson in lining up behind $40,000,000.00 and Newt Gingrich...I'm telling you now, that the majority of the New United States of America will be unwilling to return to the "thrilling days of yesteryear" in 2016.
George Foreman and Joe Frazier may have been prepared to go at it a third time. But, Foreman had five boys named George. So...unless Jebeneezer is up for a name change...this "Thrilla in Manilla" is simply not to be.
However...if you want to find out why...and whether either, or neither, will end up as their respective Party's Nominees...well, we'll jes' has to sees ya t'morra now...won't we?